Aesop & the Big Boss Keshi

Aesop’s Fables or the Aesopica is a collection of fables credited to Aesop, a slave and storyteller believed to have lived in ancient Greece between 620 and 560 BCE.

These stories have descended to modern times as they continue to be interpreted and reinterpreted in different forms this time retold with Stephen Keshi in mind.

Keshi’s turbulent spell in charge of the Super Eagles has come to an end after he was sacked by the Nigerian Football Federation (NFF).

The NFF made the announcement on Saturday without mentioning “Ivory Coast”, “Cote d’Ivoire”, or “Elephants” only “inactions”, “commitment”, and “’Super Eagles”. But we are not deceived.

However, Keshi and the NFF are not new to parting of ways.

Keshi was appointed in 2011 but resigned after he won the Africa Cup of Nations in 2013 only to rescind the decision as quickly as he made it.

His contract expired after the 2014 World Cup in Brazil but continued in his role on a match-by-match basis for the 2015 AFCON qualifying campaign. We want to be silent about his rumoured resignation during the World Cup.

He was sacked and replaced with Shaibu Amodu in October 2014 but was reinstated two weeks later which didn’t brighten the country’s quest to qualify for the AFCON.

The 53-year-old coach was finally given a fresh two-year deal on April 21 which lasted for 75 days before he got the boot yet again.

It is easy to be overwhelmed by the sheer drama of this relationship which has finally come to an end – we hope.

But in Aesop & the Big Boss Keshi, we will try to meld common sense and ancient wisdom for the benefit of not just the former Super Eagles coach but anyone who enjoyed Tales by Moonlight!

The Fox and the Goat

A Fox one day fell into a deep well and could find no means of escape.  A Goat, overcome with thirst, came to the same well, and seeing the Fox, inquired if the water was good.  Concealing his sad plight under a merry guise, the Fox indulged in a lavish praise of the water, saying it was excellent beyond measure and encouraging him to descend.

The Goat, mindful only of his thirst, thoughtlessly jumped down, but just as he drank, the Fox informed him of the difficulty they were both in and suggested a scheme for their common escape.

“If, you will place your forefeet upon the wall and bend your head, I will run up your back and escape, and will help you out afterwards.”

The Goat readily assented and the Fox leaped upon his back.  Steadying himself with the Goat’s horns, he safely reached the mouth of the well and made off as fast as he could.  When the Goat upbraided him for breaking his promise, he turned around and cried out.

“You foolish old fellow! If you had as many brains in your head as you have hairs in your beard, you would never have gone down before you had inspected the way up, nor have exposed yourself to dangers from which you had no means of escape.”

Moral: Look before you leap even when desperate and badly in need of a job.

The Dog and the Wolf

A gaunt Wolf was almost dead with hunger when he happened to meet a House-dog who was passing by.

“Ah, Cousin,” said the Dog.

“I knew how it would be; your irregular life will soon be the ruin of you.  Why do you not work steadily as I do and get your food regularly given to you?”

“I would have no objection if I could only get a place,” said the Wolf.

“I will easily arrange that for you, come with me to my master and you shall share my work,” said the Dog.

So the Wolf and the Dog went towards the town together.

On the way there the Wolf noticed that the hair on a certain part of the Dog’s neck was very much worn away, so he asked him how that had come about.

“Oh, it is nothing,” said the Dog.

“That is only the place where the collar is put on at night to keep me chained up; it chafes a bit, but one soon gets used to it.”

“Is that all?” said the Wolf.

“Then good-bye to you, Master Dog.”

Moral: Better starve free than be a fat slave in a “slave contract”.

The Horse, Hunter and Stag

A quarrel had arisen between the Horse and the Stag, so the Horse came to a Hunter to ask his help to take revenge on the Stag.

The Hunter agreed, but said: “If you desire to conquer the Stag, you must permit me to place this piece of iron between your jaws, so that I may guide you with these reins, and allow this saddle to be placed upon your back so that I may keep steady upon you as we follow after the enemy.”

The Horse agreed to the conditions, and the Hunter soon saddled and bridled him. Then with the aid of the Hunter the Horse soon overcame the Stag and said to the Hunter: “Now, get off, and remove those things from my mouth and back.”

“Not so fast, friend,” said the Hunter.

“I have now got you under bit and spur, and prefer to keep you as you are at present.”

Moral: If you allow men (Amaju Pinnick and the newly constituted NFF board) to use you for your own purposes (of keeping your job), they will use you for theirs (in getting the support of President Goodluck Jonathan {your perceived Godfather} to authenticate their election and kick you out when convenient).

The Hunter and the Woodman

A Hunter, not very bold, was searching for the tracks of a Lion.

He asked a man felling oaks in the forest if he had seen any marks of his footsteps or knew where his lair was.

“I will at once show you the Lion himself,” said the man.

The Hunter, turning very pale and chattering with his teeth from fear, replied:

“No, thank you.  I did not ask that; it is his track only I am in search of, not the Lion himself.”

Moral: The hero is brave in deeds as well as words.

“Yes. I have done my bit. I am tired of all the intrigues and backbiting and insinuations I get. My job with Nigeria is done. When I took over, there was no standing team and I had to build from scratch really but I am gone,” Keshi, July 2014.

“If tomorrow they say Keshi leave, there is no shaking because other two, three countries are waiting for me,” Keshi, October 2014.

“I want to sincerely apologise first to Nigerians. Even though, I did it when we failed to qualify for the AFCON. But no amount of apology is too much for Nigerians, and from the depth of my heart I am really sorry for the pains I may have directly or indirectly caused Nigerians. I ask for their forgiveness because I know that once Nigerians are behind you and support the team we will all succeed. I want to personally apologise to the NFF president Amaju Pinnick and the executive committee members. I personally like the manner in which they have handled things. I want to ask their forgiveness in any way I have erred. Like it is said, it is human to err and divine to forgive. I want to also apologise and appeal to the media. They are my friends in the media and I need them to succeed. I ask the media to forgive me and put the past behind because I need them for the Eagles to succeed,” Keshi, April 2015.

Surely, you were not quoted out of context!

The Man and the Satyr

A Man and a Satyr once drank together in token of a bond of alliance being formed between them.  One very cold wintry day, as they talked, the Man put his fingers to his mouth and blew on them.

When the Satyr asked the reason for this, he told him that he did it to warm his hands because they were so cold.

Later on in the day they sat down to eat, and the food prepared was quite scalding.  The Man raised one of the dishes a little towards his mouth and blew in it.

When the Satyr again inquired the reason, he said that he did it to cool the meat, which was too hot.

“I can no longer consider you as a friend,” said the Satyr.

“A fellow who with the same breath blows hot and cold.”

Moral: Some men can blow hot and blow cold with the same breath like Emmanuel Ado, your agent.

“Nigeria is a very interesting country. A country where a molehill will suddenly become a mountain….and you will be wondering if there was more to the issue. I have issued a press release stating in clear terms that Stephen Keshi never applied for the Cote d’Ivoire job. Keshi himself has spoken to some Federation officials. For me, that should be it,” Ado wrote on his Facebook page at the height of the matter.

“But the issue has taken a life that confirms what I have been hearing that some people are bent on kicking him out. People have asked him to go and beg the tin gods who have boasted that they will “humiliate” him unless he does.

“My client will not beg anybody. It is a shame that since the match against Chad it has been one crisis after another…. had we lost like they prayed ….It would have been easy to sack him. But we won … and since they want him out they are clutching to anything to nail him. It is a shame we don’t have the peace we need to plan for the away game against Tanzania.”

Keshi, why did you still associate with Ado, a fellow who with the same breath blows hot and cold?

The Nurse and the Wolf

“Be quiet now,” said an old Nurse to a child sitting on her lap.

“If you make that noise again I will throw you to the Wolf.”

Now it chanced that a Wolf was passing close under the window as this was said. So he crouched down by the side of the house and waited.

“I am in good luck today,” thought he.

“It is sure to cry soon, and a daintier morsel I haven’t had for many a long day.”

So he waited, and he waited, and he waited, till at last the child began to cry, and the Wolf came forward before the window, and looked up to the Nurse, wagging his tail. But all the Nurse did was to shut down the window and call for help, and the dogs of the house came rushing out.

“Ah,” said the Wolf as he galloped away, “Enemies promises were made to be broken.”

Like the ones made and broken by NFF officials.

“This is a new beginning for our football and we don’t want to dwell in the past. Whatever has happened in the past should stay in the past and we want to move forward and we believe we can do that with Keshi,” Seyi Akinwunmi, NFF first vice president, April 21, 2015.

“We want Keshi to take the Super Eagles to new height, that’s why the executive committee, willingly, without any pressure, reappointed Keshi. We have confidence in you Mr. Keshi and I’m extremely delighted to present Mr. Keshi to the nation,” Felix Anyasi-Agwu, chairman of the technical committee of the NFF, April 21, 2015.

“We made no mistake in reappointing Keshi. In his first term, Keshi did a lot to encourage the boys in the domestic League, and the boy who scored our winning goal at the Africa Cup of Nations, Sunday Mba, was playing in the domestic scene. We don’t live in the clouds. If we wanted a foreign coach, we would probably go for someone in the class of Jose Mourinho or Arsene Wenger. We don’t have that money presently and we don’t want to be owing our coach,” Amaju Pinnick, April 29, 2015.

“Having thoroughly reviewed the reports/findings of the NFF disciplinary committee and NFF technical and development committee, as well as having reviewed the actions and inactions of Mr. Stephen Keshi, in the performance of his duties as Super Eagles’ head coach, which we found to lack the required commitment to achieve the federation’s objectives as set out in the coach’s employment contract. To this end and pursuant to the provisions of Clause 4.3 of the employment contract between Mr. Stephen Keshi and the NFF (The Contract) and the various clauses therein, the Nigeria Football Federation has decided to exercise its option to summarily terminate the employment contract of Mr. Stephen Keshi with the federation with immediate effect,” Akinwunmi, July 4, 2015.

The One-Eyed Doe

A Doe blind in one eye was accustomed to graze as near to the edge of the cliff as she possibly could, in the hope of securing her greater safety.

She turned her sound eye towards the land that she might get the earliest tidings of the approach of hunter or hound, and her injured eye towards the sea, from whence she entertained no anticipation of danger.

Some boatmen sailing by saw her, and taking a successful aim, mortally wounded her.

Yielding up her last breath, she gasped forth this lament:

“O wretched creature that I am! To take such precaution against the land, and after all to find this seashore, to which I had come for safety, so much more perilous.”

Moral: Trouble comes from the direction we least expect it like applying for a job with another country after a “NFF, shut-up” win over Chad.

The Dog and the Hare

A Hound having started a Hare on the hillside pursued her for some distance, at one time biting her with his teeth as if he would take her life, and at another fawning upon her, as if in play with another dog.

The Hare said to him, “I wish you would act sincerely by me, and show yourself in your true colours. If you are a friend, why do you bite me so hard? If an enemy, why do you fawn on me?”

Moral: No one can be a friend if you know not whether to trust or distrust him – like your relationship with the football federation.

The Boy and the Filberts

A Boy put his hand into a pitcher full of filberts.  He grasped as many as he could possibly hold, but when he tried to pull out his hand, he was prevented from doing so by the neck of the pitcher.

Unwilling to lose his filberts, and yet unable to withdraw his hand, he burst into tears and bitterly lamented his disappointment.

A bystander said to him, “Be satisfied with half the quantity, and you will readily draw out your hand.”

Moral: Do not attempt too much at once – like applying for another job while still managing the Super Eagles of Nigeria.

The Dogs and the Fox

Some dogs, finding the skin of a lion, began to tear it in pieces with their teeth.

A Fox, seeing them, said, “If this lion were alive, you would soon find out that his claws were stronger than your teeth.”

Moral: It is easy to kick a man that is down especially a man who “begged” a disinterested employer to get his job back.

The Bear and the two travellers

Two men were traveling together, when a Bear suddenly met them on their path.

One of them climbed up quickly into a tree and concealed himself in the branches. The other, seeing that he must be attacked, fell flat on the ground, and when the Bear came up and felt him with his snout, and smelt him all over, he held his breath, and feigned the appearance of death as much as he could. The Bear soon left him, for it is said he will not touch a dead body.

When he was quite gone, the other Traveler descended from the tree, and jocularly inquired of his friend what it was the Bear had whispered in his ear.

“He gave me this advice,” his companion replied. “Never travel with a friend who deserts you at the approach of danger.”

Moral: Misfortune tests the sincerity of friends and you will soon find that out.

The Three Tradesmen

A great city was besieged, and its inhabitants were called together to consider the best means of protecting it from the enemy.

A Bricklayer earnestly recommended bricks as affording the best material for an effective resistance.

A Carpenter, with equal enthusiasm, proposed timber as a preferable method of defense.

Upon which a Currier stood up and said, “Sirs, I differ from you altogether:  there is no material for resistance equal to a covering of hides; and nothing so good as leather.”

Moral: Every man for himself. Mr. Keshi, OYO (On Your Own) lo wa!