Ask tell show

Today is my daughter’s day out in the kitchen. I started this daily rotation a few days ago and I am enjoying it. Not having my son and daughter in the kitchen at the same time was a good way of solving their simultaneous harassment. It was also an awesome way of ensuring that no one was dodging while the other worked. It’s ‘moin–moin’ day and she watched me closely as I rinsed the leaves.

Dem: Mummy, I always like your ‘moin–moin’. Infact, I wish you were the one cooking our school lunch.
Me: (Blushing under my dark skin and smiling.) Hmm…..
Dem: When we resume school, I am going to change the timetable, maybe I will remove the yam and…. ….Mum! Why are you doing that?
I cut the stalk off the leaves and placed them in the pot, crisscrossing them to form a network or better still an easy bed for the ‘moin-moin’ to lie on without having direct contact with the bottom of the pot and the water.
Me: I am using them to form a base for this ‘moin-moin’, so they don’t get burnt.
I started wrapping the leaves and pouring the beans mixture in it.
Dem: Can I wrap too? Pleaaaaasee mummy…….let me wrap one.
Me: Just watch as I wrap it because that day is coming when I will simply ask you to make ‘moin-moin’ without showing you anything.
Dem: Ok, Mum. But what are these leaves called?
Me: Ha…I don’t know o. Maybe ewe ‘moin-moin’, to be honest I really do not know.
Dem: Maybe granma will know. Didn’t your mummy tell you the name of the leaf?
Me: (I hesitated and ask myself the question but I didn’t have an answer) Well….maybe I never asked her…………

In parenting, just as in every other relationship, there is a place for Ask-Tell-Show. There are many things we natural assume our children should know or pretend that with time, they will learn it. Just like the ‘moin-moin’ leaves, we believe that years of usage, exposure or familiarization should have taught them certain things. One of the most common of such conversation is the SEX Education. It is a difficult talk and parents are generally confused about how to engage their children without embarrassing themselves or the child. Instead of calling a formal session and teaching age appropriate stuff (Check the internet, these resources are numerous), you will find them resulting to constant fear-laden threats….

‘…..If you allow a boy to touch you peren, hen! Mtshew, that is the end of your life……” What is “touch”? Is it only the boys that touch? There are so many things they may not know how to ask because they are young. It is our duty to deliberately relay these important things to them. Our actions and lifestyle are also at the highest decibel, they speak and influence far more than our instructions. Parents are the child’s first teacher, the foundation upon which every other learning is built. Your kids are watching. What are you showing them? What have you been longing to tell them? Don’t hesitate, don’t procrastinate. If they summon up courage to ask you anything, don’t trivialize it and don’t tell them to ask google. It is time to tell them, and inflame the right actions too.

Anyway, our ‘moin-moin’ is ready and the aroma from the leaves are so inviting. By the way, the botanical name for the ‘moin-moin’ leaf is “Thaumatococcus daniellii”. In yoruba, it is called Ewe Eran while the ibos call it Uma leaves. Always remember that perfection is not Genuineness. Bon Appétit!