Beyond satire: Columnist as moral compass

Treacherous was the moment. Most editors got a whiff of the story but were either afraid or reluctant to publish it. Meffy (Godwin Emefiele, then CBN governor) had gone rogue in a perfect depiction of either state capture or paralysis.

Unfolding before the nation was a farcical drama in which Meffy, long declared wanted by DSS for a raft of alleged weighty felonies against the fatherland, had not just continued to disobey Supreme Court ruling against the Naira freeze but added the novelty of being chaperoned around Abuja by a battalion of troops of the Nigerian military whose Chief of Defence Staff, Lt General Lucky Irabor, had his spouse, Victoria, planted as a director in an agency reporting directly to the errant CBN governor.

In ordinary times, only the commander-in-chief is considered worthy of such significant deployment of soldiers. The second round of the 2023 general polls, already touted as the most consequential in two decades, was only days away.

The pervading suspense in the land could, therefore, only be imagined given that the results of the presidential polls in which a toxic combo of region and religion was weaponised were still being collated across the country.

The lead floating in the media was a plot for an encore. That is a repeat of a not-so-secret release of hefty tranches of banknotes to certain candidates a few days before the first election at the expense of other contenders. Even as the rest of the populace roiled in an induced fiscal pestilence in which Naira notes were clinically drained from circulation.

Lagos, the nation’s economic nerve centre, was particularly targeted for “hostile takeover” by the Abuja power cabal in cahoots with Meffy now leaving no one in doubt he had descended into the political arena.

At Matori (The Nation newspaper’s headquarters in Lagos), the customary bolt and nut of the big story had been tightened, with discreet help from Tunji Bello leveraging his vast network of contacts in the intelligence community to double-check the facts.

Regardless, as the production deadline approached, a big dilemma seized the newspaper’s editor-in-chief, Victor Ifijeh, whether to approve as the lead story for the next day, considering its “high sensitivity”. At such dire moments of clouds, The Nation newspaper customarily never looks up to another oracle other than Dr Olatunji Dare for direction.

So, a frantic call was made to his base in the United States. In this case, without hesitation, the old journalism professor gave unqualified approval “however the risk, if only in the defence of truth and democracy”.

On account of the dramatic turn of events after that, The Nation’s lead story on the Monday preceding the state elections in March 2023 could then be described as the tie-breaker in a perilous season of power abuse at the highest level in the land, all obviously calculated to force the outcome of a national poll in a certain direction.

The heat it generated right from the break of dawn the next day was so earth-shaking, was sufficient enough to force the hitherto vacillating presidency — conspiratorially silent, some said — to finally issue a clear statement disowning Emefiele in his continued disobedience of the supreme court that hoarded Naira cash be released to suffering bank depositors across Nigeria.

The recourse to Dr Dare in faraway United States by The Nation, it bears restating, is a measure of the absolute trust reposed in his professional and moral judgement. Indeed, as the exemplary teacher turns 80 (July 17), there can be no better time to celebrate a life dedicated entirely to the pursuit of the very symbiosis intended in the conceptualisation of the idea of town and gown on the one hand and an unstinting exhibition of the nobility of spirit and moral purpose at a personal level on the other. And one who, with the force of personal example, demonstrated professional courage at a dangerous hour in Nigeria’s history.

As philosophers already postulated, the ivory towers should serve as the nursery of ideas that nourish and regenerate society.

As the first-ever first-class graduate of Mass Communication at UNILAG at a time when tempting offers awaited those in such an elite academic category in the job market, Dr Dare deliberately chose the far less materially rewarding but socially sacrificial: teaching.

Though most professorial in thoughts and articulation (having bagged the much-coveted President’s Prize for Meritorious Service from the prestigious Bradley University, Peoria, Illinois, and long been proclaimed a full professor until August 2015 when named Professor of Journalism, Emeritus following retirement), Dr Dare still prefers to be addressed simply as “Dr Dare” till date.

Thus affirming the aphorism that empty vessels make the loudest noise. Certainly not when the title is increasingly bastardised by just any quack and con artist now also prefacing their cognomen with “Professor”. In nearly five decades, he has taught and practised journalism at the elite level. He is widely acclaimed today more as a master satirist, bagging coveted medals along the line, too numerous to list here.

He has reported from more than a dozen datelines on three continents and interviewed several statesmen of global stature. His professional journalism has appeared in West Africa, Newsday, and The Seattle Times.

His popular and respected weekly column, “At Home Abroad”, is in its 14th year in The Nation.

Literary scholars will compare Dr Dare to Charles Dicken, often acclaimed as one of the greatest British writers of the 19th century, in terms of this inimitable facility to command words to inflict otherwise lacerating blows with the most insidious guile. In Nigeria’s contemporary media space, his is now regarded as the gold standard in satire writing.

His satire has been the subject of two M.A. theses in Nigerian universities and articles in learned journals.  It has also been featured in courses on Stylistics in programmes in the English Department of some universities.

However, faced with clear death threats in 1996 under Abacha’s military despotism, he had to flee Nigeria through the fabled “NADECO route” and had no difficulty in picking a ready faculty position at Bradley University, Peoria, Illinois, U.S. on account of his academic reputation.

A year earlier, he was awarded the Louis M. Lyon’s Prize for Conscience and Integrity in Journalism by the Nieman Foundation at Harvard University, recognising his steadfast commitment to journalism’s best practices.

In 1994, when compromise was quite profitable in Nigeria under a military dictatorship intent on silencing dissent, Dr. Dare, as editorial page editor, conscientiously objected to joining The Guardian mission that went to Abuja to beg Abacha as pre-condition to re-open Rutam House following the sweeping clampdown on media houses with the resurgent agitation for June 12.

To the bitter pain of the Nigerian dictator, exile only seemed to have further energised Dr Dare’s satirist sorties against the evil rule at home at the time.

When they could not get him, the evil men on a rampage in Nigeria soon pounced on his younger brother in the army and retired him prematurely. Years earlier, the Dare family had another illustrious son, a promising officer in the police, reported dead in suspicious circumstances.

A conscientious detective, he had bumped on probable leads to unmasking the faces behind the 1986 murder, via letter bomb, of journalist Dele Giwa. He would not yield to threats from anonymous callers to back off the investigation of a murder in which circumstantial evidence established a prima facie case against Babangida’s ranking intelligence chiefs.

Then, one day, the police told the Dare family their son had died in a motor accident without any convincing proof. So much for one family to bear in the search of truth and defence of liberty.

As a Mass Comms tutor at UNILAG for ages, Dr Dare was directly involved in nurturing minds and moulding the character of generations of media practitioners who have excelled in the outside world. By their fruits, says the holy Bible, you shall know them.

Today, you don’t have to look too far or think too hard to identify products of Dr Dare’s sterling pedagogy. Among them is John Momoh, now an icon of broadcast journalism and founder of Channels Television. Another is Azu Ishiekwene, winner of multiple awards and arguably Nigeria’s most syndicated columnist.

I am not forgetting Victor Ifijeh, the self-effacing prodigy who has steered The Nation from a rather small beginning to its present Olympian height in Nigeria’s print media space within a record time.

Despite a colossal record of accomplishments, Dr Dare remains a study in modesty. Whenever he chooses to stop over at The Nation‘s Lagos office, there is hardly any trumpeting to herald his coming. If he were to meet you at the opposite side of the staircase, there is a high probability that Dr Dare would be the first to concede the right of way to you. Such is the intensity of his humility.

But don’t be fooled.

The saunter of a lion at leisure is starkly different from its ferocious leap when enraged or in offence. An experience perhaps best described by another senior columnist from Arewaland who once found himself in a literary cage fight with the ordinarily gentle warrior from Kabbaland in Kogi state over a decade ago.

The equally respected writer had made an innuendo in a piece. But as they say in Dr Dare’s native Yorubaland, only a coward afraid of the fight will conveniently choose to misinterpret a poignant innuendo to be a compliment. The ink of that insult had barely dried when Dr Dare responded in kind.

Here is wishing the king of satire a happy 80th birthday.

Coping with Lufthansa’s racist discrimination

Travelling surely comes with its vicissitudes: fun sometimes and nightmare at another. But one’s recent experience with Lufthansa, a German airline, was worse than a nightmare.

First, the flight from Lagos to Frankfurt was delayed more than six hours!

When we landed in Frankfurt, my connecting flight to Texas, U.S., had departed. Long story short, I spent 48 hours in transit on a journey scheduled to be less than 24 hours. Worse still, it took bouts of epistolary hell-raising before my two luggage were delivered 96 hours after departing Lagos!

But that was even a child’s play compared to my ordeal on my return trip a week later. Again, the trip was delayed by almost four hours from the take-off point such that by the time we arrived in Houston, the connecting flight had again departed. Eventually, I spent four days in transit, missing an important meeting in Lagos!

Annoyingly, on arrival, I left the airport empty-handed. It took another 48 hours to receive my luggage.
Worse still, it turned out that one of my bags was destroyed. Lufthansa would not accept liability when I lodged a complaint demanding compensation consistent with international best practices. Hear their apology:

“Kindly note that Regulation (EC) No. 261/2004 applies to flights departing from EU member states and flights arriving in EU member states from third countries. As your journey starts in Nigeria and ends in the United States of America, we cannot accommodate your request for compensation according to Regulation (EC) No. 261/2004. We would appreciate the chance to earn back your trust in our service and hope to welcome you on board again soon.

“Sincerely, Yogesh Umarani”