Can YOU survive the Big Brother House?

Before you say, ‘get thee behind me Satan’, if you’re one of those who doesn’t think much of the Big Brother reality TV show, the question above is not necessarily for you. Or rather, this is not an attempt to bamboozle you into being a diehard convert. I just want to take a look at some of the more common comments (or questions) people make about the show and what constitutes the general attitude towards the Big Brother show especially in Nigeria. In talking about some of these comments, I’ll draw from my experience in the Big Brother Africa House in 2007. No, I wasn’t a contestant. In November 2007, I went with other journalists to cover the finale of the Big Brother Africa (BBA) season 2 in Johannesburg, South Africa.

We got there on the morning of the finale and at that time, Nigeria’s contestant Ofunneka Molokwu (now Ofunneka Anyanwu) was a strong contender to win the $100k prize money. Unfortunately, she lost out to eventual winner Richard Dyle Bezuidenhout from Tanzania. I was disappointed as I’m sure many Nigerians were. Ofunneka through her conduct on the show had helped in correcting some bad impressions about Nigerians. She wasn’t your typical loud Nigerian.  Why didn’t she win then? I’ll get to what may have affected her chances. But on the night of the finale, I managed to put my sadness aside to enjoy P-Square’s electric performance.

The House is Not as Big as You Think

Before the show, we were taken inside the Big Brother house and we quickly realised that contrary to what we saw on TV, the Big Brother House was not that big. This means simply that housemates don’t have the luxury of keeping to themselves, at least not for too long. And when you consider that housemates have to balance this against viewers’ expectations of being entertained, keeping to yourself is definitely not an option.

On that morning, we watched the remaining three housemates: Ofunneka, Richard and Tatiana Durão (Angola). We were stationed around the cameras in a dark hallway as we peeped into the house without the knowledge of the housemates. Tatiana lay sprawled on the bed, topless, with only her panties on, as she offered herself to Richard for massage (or to rub some lotion on her body). When we left the house, my male colleagues were pretty shook. In not so many words, they wondered whether they would’ve been able to resist Tatiana, a femme fatale if ever there was one.

Richard was the only who was married as at the time of going into the house. Many had been bashing him for not staying away from Tatiana. I think what we saw on that day showed that the best prevention against that kind of (Tatiana) temptation was not to venture into the house at all. How many people would’ve been able to resist a Tatiana who had zero inhibitions and who was offering herself on a platter? Her name and temptation begin with the same alphabet! This is why I’m asking if YOU think you can survive the Big Brother house. Don’t knock it until you’ve tried and survived it.

Big Brother is Too Boring

One of the most common comments about the Big Brother show has to be: “How can I watch people who are just sitting around, doing nothing?’ Or words to that effect. Whatever the exact comments are, the inference is the same: The Big Brother show is boring, so boring that it must be jobless people who have that much time to waste. Of course, people like me already have a built-in excuse: My job is watching TV, films, and everything in between. And I’m here to affirm that Big Brother is like any TV series. Anyone who watches soaps or drama series will fit right in. If you can follow stories on Zee World and Telemundo, why would a few housemates jostling for millions of Naira be too hard to follow? Perhaps the housemates are not so few but you get my drift. You can devise a way to familiarise yourself with the housemates.

I used to have names and relevant info written out which I’d keep consulting until they became familiar. The trick is to know the different characters and a good way to start is by watching the launch show after which you can check back to update your information. On Day One, some people are bound to stand out. Over the next days, you get a feel of the show. It’s not much easier than it was before. Back in the day, some people watched the show through columns like mine. But now with the internet, bloggers, vloggers, and several social media influencers, you can be super informed about the show without ‘wasting’ too much time watching it yourself.

I remember watching the launch of one of the BBA series with my sister-in-law Steph. Before then, she like many people didn’t know how it was possible to watch people who (mostly) didn’t appear to be doing anything interesting. But after that Day One, she was sold on following the rest of their stories. By the way, Steph has a Ph.D. in Mathematics-I had to throw that in. Nwabuikwu wives are no slouches, even those whose ‘job’ is to watch Big Brother.

Big Brother is Morally Bankrupt

This is another common comment about the Big Brother show. If you are one of those who believe this, I am happy to inform you that I am not about to disabuse you of that belief. But let’s start from the beginning: The show is not for people below 18 years. This means you do have to take the age restriction seriously. I usually tell parents that the R18 rating on the Big Brother channel is not a graphic decoration. You shouldn’t even watch eviction shows with your underaged children. Back when eviction nights featured live musical performances, they were high points of entertainment on their own. So, some parents turned them into family entertainment time especially if their favourite musicians were performing. But the idea is not to get your underaged children interested in any way. I don’t watch Big Brother with even my ‘overaged’ children.

None of what I’m proposing suggests that the Big Brother show is a paragon of morality. I wouldn’t want to be in it and wouldn’t allow my children if their participation depended on my permission. And it isn’t just because of the immorality, because not everyone in the show gets into immoral behaviour. There’s the example of Uti Nwachukwu, who after contesting in two BBA series, winning one, didn’t indulge in any untoward acts.

The question is: How do you survive in the House if you’re not naturally entertaining or outgoing? For instance, I like my own company, perhaps too much and I am not sure I can be that entertaining with stranger housemates (and even stranger viewers). Then, think of the mental stress. When you consider the confined space, which is akin to a human zoo, mixed with all kinds of human beings, under scrutiny where they’re also expected to ‘perform,’ for up to 90-something days, anything can go wrong… Of course, the whole social experiment that’s Big Brother is to discover how people would survive in this scenario. And let’s not also forget the ‘small’ detail of the Big Brother prize (s). The winner of this year’s Big Brother Naija will among other things receive N85 million. People have killed for less.

How careful can you be for all of 90+ days? As the case of Ofunneka showed in BBA 2, you can’t be too careful. For over two months, Ofunneka wasn’t part of any of the shenanigans as she cooked, cleaned and engaged in intelligent talks in the house. Then on one fateful day, during a truth or dare game, she had too many shots of vodka with Richard and Maureen Namatovu (Uganda). Somehow, Richard who didn’t seem to be as affected by the drink proceeded to touch Ofunneka inappropriately. That was the beginning of Ofunneka’s ‘fall’ as viewers, many women among them, blamed her even though she was the victim. She lost out on the money, and her dignity even if temporarily. The Delta state government under Emmanuel Uduaghan supposedly promised to double or triple the prize money but that didn’t appear to have materialised.

Nonetheless, some members of the ‘Morality Police’ have left me scratching my head. Some of these public figures’ lives and conduct would serve as a cautionary tale against immorality. I understand the need for us to keep up with certain societal norms. A part of this is necessary hypocrisy. As Oscar Wilde said: “Hypocrisy is the compliment vice pays to virtue.” It’s not about what we get into in private but the understanding that some things shouldn’t be done in full public glare.  But as human beings are wont to do, some people take this hypocrisy too far.

Nonetheless, the fact remains that Big Brother offers a good platform for contestants to showcase their talents and businesses.  Even those who supposedly are not in it for the money, like the Kiddwayas (whose father Terry Waya is rumoured to be a billionaire), still need the BBN exposure. Will anyone reject N85m though?

BBN 2020 So Far…

With everything I said so far as background, now we come to BBN season 5 which started on Sunday July 19 with 20 housemates. On Day One, I only took note of a handful of housemates: there was Dorathy with the breasts, bootylicious Nengi, the former beauty contestant, Laycon who thought he was a better rapper than M.I.  There also seemed to be beard gang vibe going on and it looked like the admission ticket for the guys was compulsory six pack abs. Also, certain names stood out even if I couldn’t attach a face: Wathoni with a Kenyan mother, Tolaniba, an interesting coinage…Five housemates have since been evicted. So, there are fewer housemates to keep up with. Don’t forget you can always keep up via the internet.

Laycon Vs. Erica: Unrequited Love or Emotional Game Plan?

First off, I’ll like to address the issue of game plans. For some reason, people like to knock housemates for having a game plan. How does anyone go into a show to win N85m without a plan? Even those who say: “I’ll just be myself,” that’s a plan. And ‘yourself’ had better be ultra-entertaining because I’m not going to waste my time and resources watching your boring self. So, even if you have to borrow, or pretend, please be clear and focused. Yes, you should also be able to adjust your (‘no plan’) plan after you get into the house.

This brings me to the Laycon-Erica-Kiddwaya triangle. Erica Ngozi Nlewedim says she’s mentally attracted to Laycon (Olamilekan “Laycon” Agbeleshe) but chose Kiddwaya who she’s physically attracted to. Laycon, on the other hand, had wanted more. Initially, Erica appeared to want to keep Laycon as a ‘mental’ friend on the side while doing PDA (Public displays of affection) with Kiddwaya (Terseer “Kiddwaya” Waya) around the house.

Laycon has sought, intentionally or unconsciously, to make a big deal from Erica’s ‘rejection’ by seeking to influence fellow housemates and viewers, by extension. Erica has been accused of being involved in emotional blackmail, of choosing money over intelligence. Laycon being the intelligent one while Kiddwaya is the moneyed one. Who says you can’t be intelligent and rich?

It took a minute but I finally recognised this as an old play from Big Brother Nigeria, season 1 (2006) in the case of Ebuka vs Francisca and Helen. Francisca Owumi had decided she wanted Ebuka Obi-Uchendu at all cost but he preferred Helen Eremiokhale. And because Big Brother house is not real life, Ebuka was looking for ways to let Francisca down gently without appearing wicked. But that didn’t work as Francisca who had her game plan intact would cry wherever she sensed the camera points were. She also had a good voice and was a good dancer- The first edition of BBN was mostly about people showcasing their talents.

Still, Francisca didn’t want the viewers to miss Ebuka’s rejection and many viewers took it personally-someone wrote a full-page newspaper article about unrequited love. Haba! Is it by force? However, for what it was forth, Francisca finished second behind winner Katung Aduwak while Ebuka finished 8^th of the 14 housemates. Helen was evicted the following week. Although now in the general scheme of things, Ebuka is clearly winning-From Big Brother alone, he’s hosted the show four seasons consecutively-since BBN was resurrected in 2017.

Whether Laycon will be as successful as Francisca riding on unrequited love/rejection remains to be seen. I maintain that there’s nothing wrong with any game plan. N85m is at stake, people.

Watching the BBN Watchers

If you’re interested in keeping up with the housemates/characters of the BBN House, Glory Elijah is one of my sources. I watch her mainly on her Youtube channel Frankly Speaking With Glory (FSWG). She’s also on Twitter and Instagram. What stands her out is the additional excitement she adds to her presentation. Even when you are not familiar with all the housemates’ storylines, you’d still be drawn to her.

Nwabuikwu, AIRTIME columnist is a renowned TV/film critic, and film scholar. She also has experience in advertising as a senior copywriter and corporate communications as communications consultant. Email: [email protected]