At Dino Melaye and Andrea Leadsom: Women are more than baby production factories

A disturbing trend on the bias and stereotype which devalues women seems to be on the rise. Culture and tradition seem to have passed a distorted view of humanity.

Can we conclude that men have become more physically abusive and demanding of sexual favours because that is the only time they feel in control? Is taking control the only time men feel they are in charge? Does motherhood truly affect a woman’s view on the future? Can a woman sincerely decide to put off childbearing and marriage in pursuit of her dreams without being termed overly ambitious and selfish? Can a single woman hold a political office? Do mothers have moral superiority over childless women? How do we separate the woman, wife, mother from the business mogul?

These worries seem to have been further heightened by the statement from elder statesman, Dino Melaye, the senator representing Kogi west senatorial district at the national assembly who in attempt to correct the allegations levelled against in a fallout with Senator Oluremi Tinubu of Lagos central senatorial district says “it is impossible for him to impregnate Oluremi Tinubu, who represents Lagos central senatorial district, because she has already arrived menopause”.

In the same vein Andrea Leadsom the female contender for the position of the British Prime Minister had to tender an apology to Theresa May, the recently sworn in British second female Prime Minister after she suggested in a comment during her campaign that being a mother gave her more stake in the future than Theresa May who does not have children “I feel that being a mum means you have a real stake in the future of our country, a tangible stake “she said. Her comment sparked reactions that inferred that being a mother gave her an advantage over her childless opponent, even though she later refuted the statement and apologized.

In the wake of these sad events, the most recent being the attack in France where approximately 50 children have been hospitalized in the Southern French city of Nice after a truck plowed into Bastille Day celebrations and killing eighty four people, is an indication that the greatest need of the world is a new family, new set of beliefs, values, convictions and ideologies. Every human is a product of the family and dysfunctional families will result in dysfunctional societies.

The focus on the family has mostly been on roles rather than man’s underlying purpose and identity. Men have traditionally defined their manhood by their roles in the family and this limiting belief can be traced to ancient history. Biological factors contributed largely to the roles of men and women.  Men were hunters and naturally prided themselves as breadwinners, while women stayed at home to have babies.

However in recent times, procreation and having a job are no longer considered the primary marks of womanhood. With nannies raising babies, child rearing no longer holds high points of respect for women. More women also seem to be taking over the traditional role of providers and protectors of their homes. Most women are no longer fully dependent on the provision from men and sometimes make more money than the men.

I have come to realize in my dealings with people, that our experiences, environment,   what we learnt from our teachers and the hard knocks of life determine how we view the world. Gender equality is not a contest for superiority, because women were never created to be inferior according to God’s original design. I believe that men and women were created equally in the image of God. We were created equally and uniquely to emphasize specific parts of the nature of God. God did not design a man’s world. He holds the key to our true identity. He created the woman to be a valuable addition to mankind and not as a punching bag or sex slave only good enough for impregnation.

On a social level, childlessness should no longer be associated with social stigma and taboo. Couples who are unable to reproduce should no longer be looked down upon due to social stigmatization. A single woman with no children has a future and stake not only in Nigeria but in the world at large. Single women should also have a chance in politics. A childless or single woman can also be concerned about the failing educational system, the bad roads, our failed healthcare system and poor quality of leadership whether or not she is a parent.

I also believe that children are our future and we should teach them well and let them lead the way, and show them all the beauty they possess inside”. Let our children’s laughter remind us as we used to be, incapable of hatred, free and unsuspicious of each other despite our gender, religion, race, creed or colour. Above all the golden rule of “love your neighbor as yourself” regardless of whether the person is a fellow senator, man, woman, wife, sister, boy or girl should prevail.  Love is the greatest of all!

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