Educate men, educate north

…daya, Biyu, uku, hudu, biyar, Shida…….. I continued counting the several bags of urine hanging on the side of the beds. The stench from the leaking faeces filled the air. The memory of the pale body of my beautiful baby nudged me once again. Not a sound, not a cry, just a beautiful lifeless silence passing by. I had nothing to show for the days of pains; all had gone down the drains. My mother’s eyes were swollen and sullen from sleepless night and ceaseless tears. I looked around and there was no male in sight. Where is my father? Where is my husband? Where are the men who handed me over to the fate I now bear?

“Congrats, you are one of the beneficiaries of the VVF Support Network, the NGO where I work. Your surgery is just a fortnight away and I have been assigned to manage and prepare you for the procedure. I am Dr. Julie. I will be asking you a few questions that will enable me fill the data sheet I have with me. “Let’s start with your name….”

Her pristine uniform, her beautiful smiles, her purple frames, her supple skin, her velvety voice and she is a doctor……those were my desires, my dreams, the future I longed for…Did I have a name anymore? The name I now bear is not mine but the one forced on me by the society, religion culture and appalling family values. My name is Aleemat, a young beautiful teenager taken out of school, forced into early marriage and a victim of VVF. I represent the plights and woes of the girls and women in northern Nigeria. I am north but not nut!….

The story of Aleemat is one out of many that reside in the north in large throngs. It is one of the many stories that raised the voice of the Emir “We are in denial, we are in denial……..” the bitter reality of the social values of northern Nigeria. It represents where we are coming from, where we currently are and what the future may hold if we do not retrace our steps, especially in ensuring that a sustainable approach is imbibed in the education sector.

According to the UNESCO Education 2030 Incheon declaration “Towards inclusive and equitable quality education and lifelong learning for all”, education is not a tool to promote only gender equality but equity across both gender – “Learning Opportunities for all”. This simply transcends beyond the regular distorted one-sided bias which usually reduce almost all education charter to mean education for women and girls. Over the years, one of the bane of the global position on socio-cultural challenges across all climes, specifically amongst the black nation, Africa and Nigeria in particular is the deliberate denial of the effect or its influence on the male gender especially in a male-dominated/patriarchal society like ours.

We have pushed the girl-child education, and yet the vanguard has yielded very little progress with several complications. Girls in the north are constantly been put through an education level condemned and frowned at by the religion and cultural fabric of the region, mostly controlled by men. We educate girls, and halfway through it, they are married off, yielding a total loss in time, and resources committed to this cause. We force the women to break free forcefully instead of instilling a preventive framework that protects them from inception.

Who exactly are we educating these girls for? Is it for the unschooled male-dominated society that does not value, or appreciate what education truly means? Is it for the male-dominated society that has not been re-orientated to value education as a sustainable growth and developmental tool? Is it for the politically aware and educated northern men who are not bothered about the well-being of its people? Is it for the rich and aristocratic north that lacks the understanding, that a few rich men amongst thousands of poverty stricken people is the poorest of men?

We cannot totally blame some of these men because nobody has bothered to solve the problems through their own lenses. These “Men” are like step down transformers; No matter the educational current transmitted by a girl/woman, , the father, the brother, the husband are lurking to stifle and frustrate it all. The high expectation placed on men and the assumption that “they should know better” has left a huge hiatus that needs to be bridged. We have come to a reality where we need to flip the coin, we need to go in the opposite direction, we need to test the uncharted terrain, we need to chart a new road to dignity, we need to adopt a more sustainable approach in education. It is not just about the girl-child education which seems to be mere symptoms, when compared with the real underlining factors responsible for this situation.

We need to deliberately and consciously “Educate the Men – EDUCATE THE NORTHERN MEN” and by extension drive the Boy-Child Education in that region and across Nigeria. Let’s give our literate girls and women to men who are not only educated but socially integrated to appreciate the value and premium of an educated woman. If the northern male accepts education as a valuable tool for development in women and the socio-economics of the region and country as a whole, then the vanguard will experience almost a zero-resistance. If the northern male shun their religious nuances and abolish detrimental cultural stance, then the women will not struggle to achieve their desired future.

If we educate the north, no leader will hide his incompetence and abdicate his responsibility under the guise that God is punishing his people for their sin. Let’s include and engage men in the conversations. Let’s demystify the leadership expectation cast on men and create an opportunity to address their inadequacies. Let’s raise boys to become men who will support the growth of women in their sphere of influence. Remember, perfection is alien but genuine intention will always win.