Eight emotional intelligence tips needed for success

BY ENAHORO OKHAE

Today, there is a global consensus that our Emotional Quotient is a better predictor of our success in life and work than our Intelligent Quotient and World Economic Forum has said the Emotional Intelligence is one of the most important skills of the 2020s.

Furthermore as we step into the 4th Industrial Revolution, where artificial intelligence will take the center stage and robots will take up a lot of our tasks, there will be an increase for the need for emotional prowess as human will now compete more for the jobs that robbers cannot do and those jobs are purely emotional and relational.
It’s no longer a buzz; it’s now a reality.

I have put together important tips that will give you a well-rounded practice of Emotional Intelligence and without doubt make you 2020 a successful one.

Listen to your Emotions; there’s data there

In the practice of Emotional Intelligence, we call this “Enhanced Emotional Literacy”.
Unlikely many people would think, there are two things you can do with your Emotional state, when you feel happy, sad, angry, anxious etc., you can either express with it or reflect with it. When you express with it, people hear you, you probably feel better because you have expressed; but that is a cheap use of that emotion, the other thing you can do is to reflect on that emotion, you do that by simply asking yourself questions about the emotion, so let’s say you feel angry about a situation and then before expressing the anger, you Pause and ask yourself; why did I feel angry in that situation? what was my thoughts? is this a reoccurring pattern? When you treat your Emotions this way, you will constantly get the information that is inside the emotion, because every emotion is data, there is information in it for you to know yourself deeply, to know how your past is informing your thoughts; and the more you know yourself the more the likelihood of cautioning yourself in emotional state making you a more emotionally intelligent person.

Recognize disempowering pattern and stop them

In the practice of Emotional Intelligence, we call this “Recognize Patterns” Recognizing your patterns especially negative ones is a powerful way to start practicing Emotional Intelligence. This simply means you are able to know what you do in certain situations; and guide it better. I like to put it in a statement that says “whenever______ happens I do_____ or whenever I feel_____I do____. A lot of people are not aware of their patterns and as such cannot even start the process of stopping the negative ones. So, this year intentionally look for patterns concerning your health, happiness, effectiveness, relationships, in your decision making, and in every of your actions. You can’t continue to repeat the same thing and expect a different result; recognize your pattern and grow your Emotional quotient.

Think of the consequence before you do it

In the practice of Emotional Intelligence, we call this “Consequential Thinking” Tip 1 and 2 is about self-awareness, tip 3 to 6 will be about self-management which is actually the second step to practicing emotional Intelligence.

An emotionally intelligent person has the ability to pause, think of the consequence of what they want to do before they do it, they think of what they want to say before they say it, they are not on auto run. People regret their actions mostly because they did not think of the consequence of their actions before they take it. If you want to avoid regrets in 2020, ensure that you pause, think of the pro and cons, the consequence of what you want to do before you do it. Psychologically, one of the best way to increase your ability to think consequentially is to practice deferred gratification, the more you are able to deferred something that is gratifying, the more you are able to pause, and think of the consequence of your proposed actions and stop actions that might not be optimal for the situation you are in hereby reducing regrets.

 See situations with hope and possibilities

In the practice of Emotional Intelligence, we call this “Optimism” For every event, challenge, issues problem that will happen to you in 2020, you have the option of viewing them from 2 perspectives, you can either see them from a pessimistic perspective of from an optimistic perspective.

People who choose to see situations from a pessimistic point of view are those who easily give up, throw in the towel and don’t believe that anything good will come out of the situation, they think negative situations are permanent and positive situations are permanent, if this is how you see life, then you must reverse it you want a successful 2020.
The other option is to see situations with hope and possibilities, I am not saying you should pretend, I am saying you should allow yourself to be hopeful and allow yourself see possibilities, some said the plane could not fly, it did; some said a phone should never have a camera, well the story is different now, no matter what the situation is, there is a possible outcome. When you see possibilities, you will gain strength to pursue and creativity to problem solve. Those who are optimistic see good events as permanent and see bad event as temporary.

Arm yourself with a statement that is bigger than any possible challenge

In the practice of Emotional Intelligence, we call this “Intrinsic Motivation” In Emotional Intelligence, we call this “Intrinsic Motivation”, it means having a statement from within you that keeps you driving and moving irrespective of the challenge, that statement is most likely tied to your value as a person. For example, if your statement is. “whatever is worth doing, is worth doing well” you will always find yourself motivated by yourself because of your own statement that is tied to your values, even when you don’t feel like getting a particular thing done, your statement will push you to do it well; if your statement is “humans will always be humans” you will realize that people will not shock you no matter what they do, because when they act, what you will hear in your subconscious is “humans will always be humans”, your intrinsic motivation is a strategy to arm yourself with a shock absorber against life’s issue.

A captain is never surprised at storms, don’t be surprised at challenges

In the practice of Emotional Intelligence, we call this “Navigate Emotions” One of the weakness of man is the thought that there is a life out there in which everything is perfect, so they look into other people’s life and perceive that everything is fine and wish to have such perfect life and that is not in any way true. Everyone is going through one issue or the other in different capacities in their own life and there is no perfect state in life, even the queen of England has her own issues, recently we see one of the heir to the throne saying he wants to step down from royal duties, which seem to be a stain for the kingdom. If you want to make 2020 a success using emotional intelligence competencies, don’t be surprised and taken aback by the “negative” events that might happen to you, you can’t wish them away, they are not interruptions, they are part of your life, recognize them, gain energy from them, deal with them, and move on; for another one is coming.

See Situations from other people’s perspective too

In the practice of Emotional Intelligence, we call this “Empathy” We are narrow minded and myopic when we look at situations from our perspective alone, there is more to every situation than meets the eye. The way you see a situation can be totally different from the way other people see the situation, and they are not wrong, they just have another perspective. When you permit yourself to see situations from other people’s perspective, then you have widened your view of the situation, you will then have more options to choose from rather than from your own limited view alone. It’s called empathy and it helps you manage your emotions in your practice of emotional intelligence.

Let your main life’s purpose and not your emotions guide your decisions

In the practice of Emotional Intelligence, we call this “Noble Goal” We make numerous decisions per day and certainly millions of decisions per year; those decisions no matter how small they are creates the life we experience, what if you are able to make those decisions optimally, rather than rationally, autorun or emotionally? That will definitely give you a more intentional life at the end of the year. One way to do this is to use your main life’s purpose, the overarching purpose of your life as your decision making GPRS, like a GPRS shows you where to pass and where not to pass, let your purpose be the standard for your decision, and ask yourself a very simple question, “will this decision help me achieve my life’s purpose?, if it won’t then done take it. So, it is then important that you are able to articulate your life’s purpose, because it can’t guide you if you don’t know it.