Emotional abuse in the workplace

BY SYLVESTER OJENAGBON

The news made the rounds recently of an acting chairman of a company in Nigeria beating up a female employee. Her offence? Tendering her letter of resignation, I guess without his consent. But the man’s account of the incident added some clarification. He was reported to have said he reacted the way he did because he did not like the manner she responded to him in the ensuing conversation—after she submitted the letter.

So, he reportedly hit her on the head with his shoe and followed it up with a barrage of punches. One can only imagine the emotional trauma suffered by the young lady, apart from the physical injury, and the state of the emotional health of the people working in that kind of environment.

Depending on the organisation you work for on this side of the world, you are often expected to lose yourself and pander to the whims and caprices of your employer or boss. In other words, your life is technically no longer your own. You can be used, overused and abused so you can collect a salary at the end of the month or whenever your employer or boss deems it necessary. It is immaterial what that does to your mental or emotional well-being. This, unfortunately, is the reality of some Nigerian workers whose employers feel they own them and can treat them as if they are subhuman.

This reminds me of a film I watched long ago about Emperor Nero. One of his allies, who could no longer put up with the terror and callousness of the emperor, decided to end it all. He killed himself! The emperor was sad when he was told of the man’s action. He was sad, not because an ally had killed himself, but because the man had the boldness to do so without his permission. Does that not sound in some way like the case of the acting chairman of that radio station and other employers and bosses like him?

Part of that story is that, in that area, this company where an employee was assaulted offers the worst incentives to its employees. What they pay their workers is said to be a direct violation of Nigeria’s labour rules and the Minimum Wage Act. And these salary payments, according to reports, are not made on time or as scheduled. In fact, at the time someone was being assaulted, some of the workers had not been paid their December 2024 salaries in full. And this was already February 2025! The truth is that all of these have implications for the mental or emotional health of the workers. But who cares?

Now, let us take a closer look at the concept of emotional abuse in the workplace. In simple terms, it refers to any behaviour or pattern of actions by a colleague, supervisor, or employer that harms someone else’s mental well-being, self-esteem, or emotional health. Unlike physical abuse, emotional abuse can be more difficult to recognise, as it often occurs through subtle tactics over time, but its fallouts run deep. In the words of Lundy Bancroft, “The scars from mental cruelty can be as deep and long-lasting as wounds from punches or slaps but are often not as obvious.”

Actions that constitute emotional abuse in the workplace include regularly belittling or humiliating an employee in front of others. This may involve mockery or the use of derogatory language. Constantly threatening employees or subordinates with negative consequences (such as job loss or demotion) in a way that creates fear or duress is emotional abuse.

Other forms of emotional abuse include coercing employees or subordinates into accepting unreasonable demands. It can also include offering constant, unconstructive feedback or focusing only on negative aspects of someone’s work without acknowledging any successes or strengths. The act of constantly blaming an employee for problems, failures, or mistakes, even when it is not their fault, is also a form of emotional abuse.

The truth is that constant emotional abuse can lead to mental health issues, such as anxiety, depression, or burnout. Repeated criticism and undermining can cause employees to lose confidence in their own abilities, resulting in lower performance and morale. When emotional abuse is unchecked, it can create a hostile or toxic environment that affects the well-being of everyone in the workplace. That is why some people walk away from such an environment even when they do not have any other thing or place to go to. They would rather be sane than remain in an environment that is capable of taking them down the dark alley of depression and other mental and emotional health issues. The unfortunate thing, however, is that not everyone is courageous enough to walk away. Some remain in such environments until they are well-nigh-damaged mentally and emotionally beyond repair.

There is therefore a clear need for organisations to thoroughly understand the implications and dimensions of emotional abuse and establish and enforce clear anti-abuse policies. They also need to train those occupying positions of authority to eschew abusive behaviours and learn how to recognise and handle cases of abuse. Employees should similarly be encouraged to report abusive behaviours against them without fear of retaliation.

And there should be a clear, confidential process of reporting. Efforts should also be made to build a culture based on respect, inclusivity, and healthy communication, as this can help prevent emotional abuse and support a positive work environment. Additionally, providing access to counselling or Employee Assistance Programmes (EAPs) can help individuals cope with the emotional toll of workplace abuse.

Tackling the problem of emotional abuse is vital to creating a healthy and productive workplace. Employees should at all times be made to feel safe, valued, and supported to thrive, not only professionally but also personally. That way, they are willing and happy to go above and beyond for the organisation.

Ojenagbon, a health communication expert, lives in Lagos