February 14th: The battlefield of love and life

Valentine’s Day arrives with its usual flair, roses flooding storefronts, restaurants packed to capacity, and a lingering sense of pressure in the air. Love, it seems, demands both effort and expense. Somewhere right now, someone is making a last-minute dinner reservation, another is debating whether flowers or perfume will suffice, and a few are plotting their great escape from obligations they would rather not fulfill. But for me, February 14th is not just about love. It is the day I was born.

Most people receive roses on Valentine’s Day. I received life. While the world scrambles for candlelit dinners and grand gestures, I wake up to the ultimate love story, another year, another breath, another reason to be grateful. Perhaps that is why I have never needed the validation of a Valentine’s date to feel special. The day itself has always embraced me first.

Yet beyond personal significance, Valentine’s Day remains a fascinating cultural spectacle. Once a day for lovers, it has morphed into a grand performance, equal parts tradition and consumerism. The holiday’s old stereotypes, women expectantly waiting for grand gestures and men reluctantly delivering them, are fading. Now, modern romance operates on new rules, ones that reflect shifting gender roles and evolving expectations.

Gone are the days when only men strategized their Valentine’s Day exits. Women have now perfected the art of dodging multiple admirers, their excuses ranging from sudden urgent work trips to conveniently timed phone malfunctions. The game has changed. Love is no longer a one-sided pursuit but a dynamic, sometimes chaotic, exchange of expectations.

Then there are the women in traditionally male-dominated fields, engineers, doctors, corporate executives, who once dismissed Valentine’s Day as frivolous. Now they seem to be leading the charge, writing love equations, prescribing romance as medicine, and orchestrating elaborate gestures. Overcompensating? Perhaps. But if the celebration of love is an equal opportunity affair, then let extravagance reign.

Of course, there are the cynics, those who argue that love should be celebrated every day, not just on February 14th. It is a fair point, in theory. But in reality, life is cluttered with obligations, work deadlines, bills, responsibilities. Sometimes, a deliberate pause is necessary, a reminder to acknowledge the people who matter, to express love beyond fleeting moments of routine.

Yet the true beauty of Valentine’s Day is not found in grand romantic gestures but in the subtleties, the nervous young man choosing a bouquet for his crush, the elderly gentleman buying flowers for his wife of fifty years, the child scribbling a Valentine’s card for a parent. These quiet, unassuming acts of affection carry far more weight than the spectacle of the holiday itself.

For those without a romantic partner, Valentine’s Day is not a cause for lament. If anything, it is a financial blessing, no overpriced dinners, no last-minute panic over the perfect gift, no obligation to pretend enthusiasm for an impractically large stuffed bear. Love, after all, is not solely defined by romance. It exists in friendships, in family, in the simple act of being kind to oneself.

So whether one is basking in the glow of romance, creatively dodging admirers, or simply enjoying the peace of solitude, the essence of Valentine’s Day remains the same. It is not just about roses or rings or relationship status. It is about recognizing love in all its forms. And if, like me, February 14th brought both life and love, then truly, what a day to be alive.

Shaakaa is a Lecturer in Chemistry Department of Federal University of Agriculture, Makurdi, Benue state.