So you fight a lot? Doesn’t mean you should break up

Of course there are some fights that are so severe you’re almost sure you both won’t survive it. You had said hurtful things, he had said hurtful things, you guys can’t look each other in the eye at the moment. In fact, at the moment you pretty much hate each other. But what if I tell you it is perfectly normal and it shouldn’t lead to a break-up?

No perfection. Forget the myth that if you both fight all the time every day, you aren’t meant for each other. There are no perfect persons who would be together and would never fight. In fact, if you know any couple of such, they don’t have an iota of feeling for each other.

Differences. As long as both of you weren’t born of the same mother or culture or heritage, you will find a difference between yourselves that you don’t agree on. Heck even siblings born of the same parents fight on a minute basis, how much more two different people with everything different about both of them coming together. It is like two opposite sides trying to become one. There will be arguments and whatnots until you both come to disagreeable agreement which says, and you must believe, ‘You agree to disagree’.

Beauty. The beauty of fights is that it helps you discover each other. Helps you know each other well. Not all messages can be passed across as amicably as we may want it to or as the romance novels tells us it can be passed. Most messages have to be passed across with a little argument.

The aftermath. What happens after an argument is the crux of the matter. Now as much as you want to prove a point or get your message across, the important thing is not to dwell on it. Therein lies where people make the mistake. You an pick to go on all day or for just a few hours, but the important thing is to always recognise when it is enough and a white flag has to be put up. Now it is in the nature of humans to automatically believe it is the man’s duty at this point but it isn’t. Anyone can initiate the truce transition.

Also if you aren’t comfortable calling it a fight you can call it an argument the two of you are having but most importantly, stay away till the middle of the night and resolve whatever It may have been that caused such a heated argument, and give apologies when due. Both parties are to participate at this juncture, it doesn’t matter who started it or who got hurt.

If you stop seeing fights as an abomination and start embracing it as nature’s way of speeding up your process of getting to know each other, then you wont have a problem. Because truth is, only people who love each other fight the most over the most absurd and stupid things. And it is because you love each other is why youre even entertaining the fight to make your partner reason on your level, see your point, your truth and your cleans hands and sadly, nature didn’t pick the best of ways for that to happen because if not, you’d have walked away a long time ago and decided that the headache and stress wasn’t for you or worth it.

So yes, embrace fights/arguments, don’t despise it. It is like earthworms, gory but have great economic importance to earth.