Help! I married a wicked woman (II)

I started responding to the question Japhet raised last week about not understanding his wife and so far I have handled the first two packages women show up. Truth is if you don’t understand the personality differences in your marriage and use it to your advantage you will take a rash decision and mess up what should have been a wonderful union out of pettiness.

I am not holding brief for women with obvious character flaws or attitudinal issues and often times that could have been as a result of their background because people are always doing the best they can with what they know. So often times I love to troubleshoot to understand the motivation behind certain behaviors.

Here are the final two packages however I must warn that some woman come with a mixture of the 4 or a mixture of two because everyone has got a dominant personality, a complimentary personality, a developing personality and an undeveloped personality.

The dependable truck wife: This is the introverted relational car that will serve you irrespective of your disposition to her. She is willing to give up everything for you to have your way and would rather keep quiet than raise any issues but could internalize her hurts for several years simply because she doesn’t want to rock the boat. She may not take the lead and is willing to dance to your tune which could make her procrastinate over what she should use her initiative for simply because she considers you as her brain. She is the one a lot of men take advantage of cos she appears powerless to take you up and a lot of them suffer in silence without necessarily being happy.

However she has got a depth of wisdom that you may not profit from if you don’t have the patience and skill to draw it out because she is not likely to go out of her way to suggest anything? I see a lot of men who have become their home’s island of knowledge becos of the introverted nature of their women not knowing that the key to the most difficult issues in your life resides in this well of wisdom called dependable truck woman.

She is willing to work herself to death to please you so why don’t you allow her rest and take charge of the kitchen once in a while or spend quality time appreciating her cos she never really gets appreciated in most cases. She is an expert at managing any task that requires completion and can’t stand men who change their minds at will or yells when angry. Can u unleash the power in this woman or you are excited that you have a woman under control?

Always remember that you are not truly married if you are a controlling man dominating your woman.
Handling a wife is not lording things over her and that you have money and can provide shouldn’t turn you into a man that is out of control or accountability. Never for once think it is your intelligence alone that has given you the wealth you have as a man because if she decides today to make your life unbearable you may not have the peace of mind to think creatively and deliver on your deadlines. I cannot stand a man who beats a woman under a guise that you can’t control your temper.  I am sure if she were a karate black belter you’d natural develop self control because one kick from her can send you to the great beyond. It is only a weak man who raises his hand against a woman.

The final brand of car you might need to drive as a man which most of our men hate to drive is the systematic ford wife.

Can you stand this perfectionist car who would never obey any instructions without seeking to find out why? She is a business minded woman who wants to be convinced of every action before she goes ahead. While a lot of men consider her affront as pride and lack of submissiveness she could save you from serious business decision errors that can mess up your life. Naturally she is highly intelligent and good with data and has a very strong instinct that can make her smell evil from afar even when she can’t explain what she feels. If you don’t know this you’d be getting into a lot of errors for neglecting her wisdom.

She wants to spend time with you as well as wants you to do things for her because she hears ‘I love you’ by your doing things for her so while your friends think she wants to rule over you; her manufacturer knows that is the way she is wired cos she wants you as her best friend. She is very good with financial control and if you are wise you’d allow her handle family finance and  wont be angry at her numerous questions.

Truth is you can’t drive each of the cars with your basic knowledge of driving. They must be driven the way they were meant to be driven and that is why the platinum rule says treat people the way they want to be treated. There is nothing to lose for getting the best out of your woman. I must however also inform you as a man that these cars also come with their different sexual desires which you may need to be a man of understanding to decipher her bedroom antics. I often tell men that you may not understand why she says No sometimes becos you are not in her body. The intimidating hummer has got a high sex drive which helps her ease pressure and would love to take control in the bedroom at times however when she is in her project mode she may not want sex except you know how to help her switch from her masculine work mode to home mode. The creative convertible on the other hand is always ready and gets turned on easily and that is why you can’t afford to starve her of sex as a man. She is highly inflammable and vulnerable as well and that is why touch and sweet words are life to her.

The dependable truck woman’s sex life is poetry and that is why she wants a lot of foreplay and afterplay. Don’t rush the process cos she feels used every time you do that although she may not be able to verbalize her feelings.

The systematic ford is the one who doesn’t miss sex when she can’t have it and could perceive sex as a duty. She is also the one that will say No most of the time and may not respond and it is due to her perfectionist tendency that believes everything must be systematic. You need to be patient with her and get her in the groove and you will see the romantic side of her. For her sex begins with service. So serve & assist her.

A man spends his life and time chasing a woman and gets her to the altar after which he abandons and he expects her to be excited about it. I understand the hunting instinct in you that doesn’t feel the motivation to go hunting for her again simply because your prey has already been captured but what you fail to understand is that the same set skills you deployed to chase her before marrying her is the same skills needed to chase and groom her. Many of us take our women for granted and you expect her to come out good for you. Of a bigger pain to me are men who run their women down and takes off to run after younger girls. I often warn those girls to take a look at his wife because what he has made her is where your future would be. A man is regarded as a bride-groom at the point of marriage and that word simply means a groomer of a bride. What that means invariably is that your woman is expected to be better than you. The question you need to ask yourself as a woman is ‘How well have you groomed your woman’. Grooming a woman is seeking to improve her and getting the best of her. Your aim must always be to make her the cynosure of all eyes and the envy of her world. How well have you achieved that? So many men are so selfish about themselves that they have no time to pay attention to your woman. When was the last time you encouraged her to take a course; changed her wardrobe; empower her to do something in her line of passion; or even take her place in the kitchen so that she can have the required rest? Would her father be proud of what you have made out of his daughter or her mother is regretting giving her out to a man like you?