Holding on to emotions

Some of us went through a lot as kids. We didn’t get the best out of our childhood. Because of this, we mastered the art of hiding out emotions. 

The effect. We hide everything, every feeling and every weakness. We mask strength even when there isn’t any. We put smiles on our faces even though it isn’t coming from within. We put up a front and say everything is fine.

What we do not know is that that has a long-term effect in our lives. It may have served as a safe zone then, yes, it was. We couldn’t get hurt. We couldn’t cry. It would ruin the entire purpose that is expressionless.

It worked for a while, until later in life, you realize that some things in life are beyond the strength with which you held onto your emotions.

For some, this comes during the conception of a child. For others, meeting someone.

The after-effect. The end result of holding onto emotions for a very long time is that at the end, you’d realize that they weren’t loyal to you after all. You find that later in life, you start revealing all there is to the emotions you so bottled up and hoped it never saw the light of day.

You start to cry more, feel more, every little new twinge of emotions becomes like a new breath. You discover things about your persona you never knew existed as you stifled it to death.

For some though, they get angrier or perhaps realize they have the ability to get angry; for some, to laugh; for others, to love.

The thing that comes with emotions unveiled at later age is that it tends to be expressed a little too much. So you notice, you show a little more love than your partner in a relationship. This causes a lot of problems as the one giving feels he/she isn’t getting it as much as they are giving. Meanwhile, the partner could be expressing his/her feelings just at the right proportion.

This shouldn’t be a persistent problem. You just have to come to terms with the fact that you may indeed be exhibiting late emotions and come to accept that most of the time, you will indeed be in a position where you love your partner a little more than they love you.

This will help keep you sane. As failure to come to that realization may breed mistrust. Due to your notion of a seemingly unrequited love, you start to monitor his/her every activity and movement as well as people they meet and greet. Because at that moment, you feel beyond every reasonable doubt, that if he isn’t giving that much love to you, he is definitely giving it to someone else. And lack of trust is the true killer of a relationship.

Also, the partner on the receiving end should take time to talk to your partner about his/her background that revolves mostly around her childhood. Even for the long lasting of a relationship, it helps you understand whom you are with much better from who he/she was as a child in his/her innocence.