It takes two

Amoke ran out of the class holding her stomach. This was the third time in a straight row. The nurse was already on standby. She soon pushed her hands under Amoke’s and chaperoned her to the clinic.

“You are pregnant Amoke…” She raised the strip. The two red lines glowed like flaming embers. Amoke covered her face with her beret, sobbing.

The principal dropped his pen and raised his face. “Who is responsible for the Pregnancy?” Amoke bowed her head, as tears streamed down her face making a large puddle on the floor. The grounds suddenly felt like a floating gear, moving in a circular swirl. The event that led to the pregnancy raced through her head in repeated, drowsy sequence.

“Amoke, who is responsible for the pregnancy? who? It will make good sense for your parents to know the person responsible for the pregnancy. Although your confession does not reduce your punishment, nor temper the consequences. You will begin your indefinite suspension from tomorrow. And so for the last time, who is responsible for the pregnancy”

Amoke raise up her head. Her bulging red eyes stood on the edge, threatening to burst out of the socket She gave a deep sigh and shook her head as she sniveled.

“Bosun Sir, Bosun Adedipe” She mustered between her quivering lips. The word ran across the room, brushing the walls and bouncing off the four corners before resting right on the Principal’s table.

“Which Bosun Adedipe?” The principal stood up from his chair with a huge frown on his forehead. The silence became deafening. The tears became an outpour as larger drops fell to the ground in fast painful motion.

“Bosun Adedipe Sir. Your Son….” She burst out in tears, wailing loudly. The principal’s mouth went completely dry. He propped himself on the table, folding his hands across his chest. The vice-principal opened her mouth in surprise looking from the nurse to the teacher, who were equally surprise

“Bosun, my son? That is remotely impossible, precisely impossible” he blurted out, throwing his hands in the air severally within split seconds. A few minutes later, Bosun walks in. He stopped abruptly and betrayed his emotions with the bewilderment on his face when he saw Amoke. First came the dead silence, then more deafening stillness, then a nod and a confirming that he is responsible for the pregnancy. The principal stood up from the table with the shock plastered on his face. Bosun could not look at his principal. Bosun could not look at his father. The world stood motionless for several seconds. The principal became unsettled as he murmured to himself before facing them to speak.

“Bosun Adedipe, even though this school has no commensurate reprimand for male offenders in the case of pregnancy, you will pay equal consequences as Amoke here. You will only be allowed back in school after the baby arrives. You are both suspended indefinitely. However, Bosun, your suspension will come with hard labour. You will resume in school here from tomorrow with your hoe, cutlass, broom and mop. You will use the rest of the school term to serve the various punishment.

Teenage pregnancy is one of the many factors responsible for girls dropping out of schools. It is an unwritten taboo for a stomach to protrude out of a secondary school uniform. It’s just not a tolerable sight in the society. It is a compulsory, “stay-at-home-order” which happens without a formal suspension or expulsion letter. Yes, it’s the shame and stigma that first banishes the girl from school before the society eventually issues a final verdict of, “It-is-finish”.

The debate for girls to drop out of school either temporarily or permanently is one that must be carefully handled beyond the welfare of that single girl but the message received by other girls in the same school. As recently also pointed out by the wife of the Governor of Ekiti State, Mrs. Bisi Fayemi, it is outright injustice to expel girls who get pregnant while the boys responsible for this pregnancy are left to attend school.

But why will the society allow boys get away while girls bear the consequence? This chauvinistic posture of the society has bred boys who grow up to become men who lack requisite strength of character required to function in their various role in the society. The society focuses on only girls, in a rather reactive manner, managing the damage rather than a proactive intervention.

At WELEAD, we have always pointed out the deficit in the way we raise our boys. When we talk of raising boys to become the model father, husband, brother or colleague, we must focus on raising boys who can take responsibility for their actions and inaction. This prejudiced stance goes beyond the school to church, mosque and the society as a whole.

As it takes two to perpetrate this act, it should take two to equally suffer the consequences. If the girl is suspended and the boy is kept in school to continue classes, the other boys will see this as not just liberty but license to perpetrate other sex-related offences such as Gang Rape. This position invariably absolves the boy-child or the male gender of any wrong doing, hence an unending cycle. However, if boys are made to face the music, pay the prize, bear the brunt and go the whole long haul of punishment, they will also think critically before getting into such life-changing decision

As we have been building the female gender to take the rein of leadership and boldly explore the potentials embedded in them, let us consciously build socially responsible and emotionally sensitive boys who will become men of worth in the future. Train the boys today!

Remember, when you chase the sun, you will catch the clouds, when you long for the moonlight, stories are heralded. Never seek perfection, simply stay genuine.

Oladele-Ilori is a management consultant, trainer/facilitator, an entrepreneur, an author, a wife, and mother. She is the Convener and Executive Secretary, WELEAD -www.weleadnetwork.org