We leave our sister’s husband to his conscience, says family of ‘abandoned’ cancer patient

The family of cancer patient Augusta Arhebun – who claimed that her husband, Kehinde Ademuwagun, abandoned her and secretly married another woman – has responded to Ademuwagun’s counter-accusations.

In a statement published by TheCable on August 19, Arhebun’s family had accused Ademugaun of seizing his wife’s phones, dishonouring his wedding vows, showing a nonchalant attitude towards her survival, and without honour taking away all that she worked for after setting up a business that both husband and wife benefited from.

But Ademuwagun (pictured with Augusta at their traditional wedding) denied all these allegations, saying he was the one who set Augusta up in business, and that he had sold virtually all his belongings because of her ill-health.

He claimed that his wife deliberately hid her family’s history of cancer from him. He also said his wife’s family failed to appreciate all his efforts.

“I took her to UK with my own money. I have evidence of all those things with me in the house… The cost in UK and US was too much and I didn’t have that kind of money because I had sold virtually everything I had, on her,” he had said.

“As it is, my brother, as a man I did everything possible so that this woman should be alive. Do you know that instead of the family paying me for good, they were paying me for bad…. I go there every time, I send money to them every time.”

On Friday, the Arhebun family issued a statement to deny all of Ademugaun’s claims, arguing that he had a subsisting marriage under law and that by marrying another wife without dissolving his first marriage, he had committed an offence punishable by five years in jail.

Below is the statement in full.

THE VALUE OF WEDDING VOWS

“It is true that when young people take that ‘for better for worse, in sickness and in health’ wedding oath, most of them are often not picturing dealing with a sick partner in their youth but only in old age, but life throws us curve balls like cancer. The strong ones catch it and deal with it; others duck or dodge it. Mr. Kehinde Babatunde Ademuwagun ducked and dodged it.

“It is with disgust that we read his reactionary rant of calumny against the Arhebun family who have continued to nurse his wife, their daughter and sister, to recuperation after his abandonment. His wild response took a tangent that is clearly self-defensive and more so contradictory and implicative.”

“In his rave of self-defence, Mr. Kehinde has accused our family of being diabolic and responsible for his ill-luck in his marriage to establish our hatred for our sister and daughter Augusta. Knowing that no one should have to go through cancer alone, how then has he abandoned his wife to this so-called diabolic family to nurse her through recuperation? When cancer happens, loved ones rally around the patient. It is a time to show love and support them to recover. But for Mr Kehinde, it was a time to leave her and marry a cancer-free and fertile Mary Paul.”

NO FINANCIAL/EMOTIONAL COMMITMENT

“May we clearly state that since Augusta has been in our care, Mr. Kehinde has in no significant way catered for her upkeep, he is completely detached emotionally and financially. For example, all cost of chemotherapy among other medicals since 2014 when we were called in, have been borne by the Arhebun family.  Except for Mr. Kehinde breezing in and out at his convenience in our family houses in Benin and Warri, we have indeed nothing to show of his responsibility as a husband to the sick woman.

“Abandonment is not a form of love, it is cruel. Unlike him, we have been here for her. We seek no appreciation for taking care of our own; this is what families do and we are dutifully carrying out our responsibilities. We have faith in our sister’s recovery. Day by day, we nurse her diligently ensuring she gets all the therapy she requires.

“Let us state here that the Arhebun family is not an affluent family, but we are a very content and comfortable family who have never had a reason to rely on Mr. Kehinde and our sister Augusta’s estate for survival. We did not react to Kehinde’s maltreatment of our sister because we find an opportunity to grab the dividend of their marriage of her hard work, but we must accept our limitations.  No doubt, our life has become more complicated like a maze full of taking turns to care of Augusta and sharing costs of upkeep.

‘We are therefore concerned with the need for support in the long run for taking care of Augusta’s medical expenses all by ourselves as we do not know how long her full recovery will take. We have been provoked by Kehinde’s nonchalance since Augusta’s illness. To every right, there is a responsibility; Mr. Kehinde has been quick to claim his rights as a man and a husband, what then has been his responsibility to Augusta in the past year?”

HOLIDAY – NOT MEDICAL TRIP

“While Augusta remains unable to counter Mr. Kehinde’s claim on who pioneered Eagles Wing Oil and Gas Ltd, Calabar, we are at least glad that Mr. Kehinde clearly accepted that she has worked with him in this business, making contributions which should be appreciated both as a business partner and as a wife. The best way to appreciate a partner is to be there to pull them up when needed. But for Mr. Kehinde, he stripped Augusta of everything, even her mobile phone because he bought it for her with his money and has a right to collect it back.

Mr Kehinde stated he had sold ALL he has to treat his wife in UK and America, we are unaware of this bogus claims. We are in the dark about many things that transpired in Augusta’s case. While we cannot totally exempt our sick sister of a fault in all of these secrecy, the evidence we have does not discharge Mr. Kehinde also of lying here.

“We are glad he confessed that we were thrown head first into Augusta’s cancer illness by his sudden call from Ibadan teaching hospital at the brain tumor stage. From the records we were given, our sister Augusta was treated in Calabar, and later transferred Ibadan where we were called in by Mr. Kehinde to come and take charge. It is sad enough that Augusta cannot be stressed with defending his claims, but should he want to present their holiday trips as a show of responsibility towards her ill health, it will again be understandable as another ploy of his.”

SPERM-ENHANCING DRUGS

“Blaming a woman’s illness with cancer on the fact that she hid her family’s history of cancer is pathetic. It is also not clear how a wife you share a bed with daily will hide from her acclaimed dutiful husband an illness like breast cancer until it metastasized. Blaming their childlessness for only 8 years of marriage on Augusta alone and our diabolism, making a case for her suffering fibroid as the reason for his new marriage, is appalling. It is typical in our society that a woman always carries the burden of childlessness even when men like Mr. Kehinde has continuously fed himself unashamedly with sperm-enhancing drugs to our knowledge. How do you appreciate such a man who has vainly taken all Augusta has worked for immodestly and only given her a bad name?

“Nothing helps in treating cancer more than a support system of loved ones and family. The pain of cancer grows in the absence of emotional support. You, Mr. Kehinde Babatunde Ademuwagun, in place of showing love all through, made a choice of partner-abandonment. Seeking an excuse to justify this act is unacceptable. It is morally reprehensible to abandon a spouse in their time of illness, it is worse to attack her caregivers with calumny. Its worries how Augusta will weather spousal abandonment and deal with the new realities of her husband’s mishandling of the life and estate she faithfully built with him. It is our deepest prayer that she survives it all.”

THIS IS BIGAMY, A CRIMINAL OFFENCE

“To the records of all, Mr. Kehinde declared himself guilty of the crime of bigamy, which, under the Nigerian criminal code he referenced, remains an offence with penalty of five years imprisonment or more. He ignorantly claims he had not married Augusta in court, and therefore sees no crime in contracting another marriage with Mary Paul.

“Make no mistakes, the marriage between Augusta and Kehinde which held on 19th May 2007 at the Living Faith Church, Badagry, Lagos, was statutory, and conducted with adoption of all procedures maintained under the marriage act of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.  For Mary Paul, Kehinde and his likes, it is worth knowing that it is a felony to enter into marriage with a married person or to contract a new marriage while a first marriage contracted under the marriage act is not dissolved by a valid judgement of divorce. While we may advise that you Mr. Kehinde Babatunde Ademuwagun seeks legal counsel for the prosecution purposes in this matter, we pray that your conscience as an acclaimed Christian remains your judge.”