From LGBT to ‘my partner’

Who is blind, but my servant? or deaf, as my messenger that I sent? who is blind as he that is perfect, and blind as the Lord’s servant? Seeing many things, but thou observest not; opening the ears, but he heareth not. Isaiah 42:19-20 (KJV)

I had just started working with over 300 commercial sex workers spread across Ajegunle Apapa in 2002 especially on the celebrated good evening street off Baale street and was convinced that something needed to be done about a disturbing trend I had observed.

I had sent in proposals to several churches to alert the leadership about the growing trend of same-sex relationship and the need to build a system to empower the entire church and create a system to take care of the growing population of a minority that may become a majority with time and help them overcome a stigma that they themselves were confused about.

I remembered having worked through many sleepless nights to create a curriculum religious  organizations and schools can use and how I even offered them for free. I was shocked at the responses from a few of those who bothered to respond out of courtesy

‘Our members are covered by the blood of Jesus, we don’t need to talk sex and “soddomy” here’

I was a bit disappointed but I made up my mind that I would not give up so started a 7year every Sunday night weekly meeting with young people in Ajegunle to master what works and trust me it was the best moments because I learnt first hand what people go through and why they go through what they go through.

Along the line a few churches began to respond but again I had discovered the concept of “Fuckarama” across our Christian Schools and quite a number of public schools where more boys sodomize boys in their own version of School father and mother. As usual we started sensitizing churches and even had a few sessions with schools. The centre for Sex Education and Family life was birthed and we recommended age appropriate sexuality education and only a few listened.

I wasn’t shocked at what happened in America about the legalization of LGBT my only surprise came from the shock of the church and the religious leaders. While we may want to attribute all that is happening to our end time myth, the bigger question is how have we fared in changing the society where there is a church on almost every street? Have we produced saner communities in the last 30years or we have produced mega churches at the expense of a developed society.

Kunle Soriyan once shared with me his concerns about how several freedom fighters had become richer and more influential while the people they claimed to be fighting for had become poorer and worse. Isn’t that our reality?

If the church is the light of the world and the salt of the earth how come it seems our light is becoming inferior to the darkness around the world? Of course I never write without telling you some of the solutions I discovered but that may not even be the reason for my write up this time around.

If you are someone who loves to surf the web why don’t you google what would be happening in the world by 2040 and see how much investment a minority have made in the future while we grapple with annual prophetic declaration?

• Are you aware there may be no religion by 2040?
•  Are you aware there may be more trans-humans by 2035 than Christians?

The shocking truth is you would struggle to see any particular plan of any church or Christianity by 2040 online so when that year comes and other minority groups begin to show up we start running commentaries and shouting about end time without acknowledging our irresponsibility.

I have already written about LGBT and I stand by every word I used in my article however what I am about to alert us about is something even bigger than LGBT because as usual I am not sure anyone is watching or maybe we are praying for it not to come to pass. Trust me Christianity as we have it right now is already endangered because we keep showing how far behind we are in the scheme of things.

While a few of us have started talking about the move by Pedophiles to also get themselves recognized I saw that as far back as 2011 and wrote about it after pedophiles met at Baltimore and kick started their own movement but we kept dancing and moved on. While we await the first world’s pedophilia marriage, we were all alive when the first bestial marriage took place in California a year ago and heavens did not fall. How did we respond? We kept dancing and moved on as usual.

The real issue I want to alert us about right now is the threat to what we celebrate as marriage at the moment and to warn us to be prepared for what is ahead before we begin to play catch up. I don’t know if you have noticed that globally ‘My spouse’ is giving way to ‘My partner’ and young people are watching.

The bigger challenge for me is that most of the top icons in almost every field of entertainment seems to have ‘a partner’ and not ‘a spouse’ and trust me some of these partners already have kids for these men.

At the moment it is almost impossible to see a couple hold themselves romantically on the streets of Nigeria even in churches and the signals we keep sending to the younger generation is that marriage is not desirable after all but switch on the TV or flip the pages of any showbiz magazines and there you see partners holding themselves and expressing public affection thereby sending the right signals to our kids who are watching.

This is a grand design to redefine what we call marriage but when what is right begins to loom in secrecy and operate in hiding as if it is a crime to publicly show affection while what is wrong is flaunting itself as if it is the right thing to do don’t be shocked in the nearest future when the concept of partnership becomes legalized and replaces what we presently call marriage.

I am sure someone is saying it would never happen or you are echoing ‘Over my dead body’ but trust me I spent time praying so hard against LGBT as a student but did nothing until I became a professional counsellor and started working with some of them who really needed help but by then they had already grown all over the world.

Unfortunately most of the promoters of ‘My partner’ are sports stars and music icons you love and are indispensable to you. How do you explain to your daughter that Messi who is most loved by all and regarded as the greatest footballer in the world right now is not right with his choice of a partner as against a wife? or tell your kids that you don’t subscribe to the values of a Cristiano Ronaldo whom you could die for each time he displays his soccer artistry?

Ministry has gone beyond standing on the pulpit every Sunday to excite people to subtly conditioning people through media, arts and entertainment and even through politics and economy but when we remain stuck behind the bars of the 4 walls and refuse to create superior content we would wake up one day and discovered that we have been colonized.

One question  I would like to ask you is this ‘Who is disciplining the nations between us and them?

I am sure you are too quick to declare that we are winning but do answer the following questions:

Who determines the dance steps you use to praise your God every Sunday?

Who determines the movies you watch and affects your perception?

Who is responsible for the cartoons your kids watch?

Who determines the policies in politics that affects everyone?

Who determines the curriculum in the schools you pay through your nose to send your kids to?

Who determines other forms of media content that gets you excited including football and fashion shows?

Who determines your standard of living and who exactly pays your salaries?

If we don’t determine any of these then where exactly are we shining as light?

Marriage is honorable we teach but do we publicly show affection to send the right signals to the younger generation?

When was the last time you held your spouse publicly or had a dance with him/her?

I can see somewhere down the line that the concept of ‘My partner’ will overtake ‘My spouse’ if we fold our arms as usual and do nothing and continue to dance and get ourselves excited. A minority with a generational resolution will rule over a majority who lives for annual prophetic declaration.

Are we going to determine the future or we are waiting to respond to what has already been created by others in that future.

May His Kingdom come and may His will be done on earth as it is in heaven

Fowowe heads the Center for Sex Education and Family Life, Lagos