Nigerians, vote for Evans 

This write-up is inspired by two individuals on ‘Nija’ Social Media. 

The first poster, perhaps an imposter claiming to have a PhD suggested that Nigerians have tried someone with integrity and it has not worked (in his own estimation) and suggested it was time to try a thief. As a supporter of Atiku, he appears to be confirming that his candidate’s reputation is a well-deserved one.

The other poster took the matter further and suggested we actually vote for Evans. So I have decided to amplify that suggestion on Evans.

In the event you think this is a joke, perish that thought. There was a huge outcry on Nija Social Media a few months ago. Many wanted us to forgive Evans. As they said back then, “to forgive is divine”. And of course, Evans is not the only bad person in Nigeria.  So if we can forgive Evans, if Al Mustapha & Atiku can contemplate running for Presidency in Nigeria, why not Evans? His rights are fully enshrined in the constitution and he will not be the first to run from detention in Nigeria.

It appears that the logic of Forgive Evans has been transferred to Atiku. Many have suggested that the love – in for Atiku is because many people are Anti Buhari. I will rather take a contrarian view and suggest that the Pro Atiku voices are loud because some of our compatriots are innately pre disposed towards thieves and spivs.

We love our looters as they are either our kinsmen, in – law or benefactors. We are forever indebted to them for the massive school they built in our locality which none of our children can afford to attend. We are forever obliged to them for that massive oil company they own that swindles Nigeria of over a $100m dollars annually. We love them because many of the fake prophets masquerading as ‘Men of God’ endorse them.

So now that we realize how much we love thieves, spivs and corrupt people, why don’t we go the whole hog? Why don’t we choose someone who is more ‘Atikulate’ in ‘spivery’ and thievery and corruption?

NIGERIANS. VOTE EVANS FOR PRESIDENT.

He has never been convicted of one single crime.

He has never been indicted by the Nigerian Senate or the USA Senate.

He is a successful businessman running multi million euros and dollars businesses and employing hundreds of people and patronizing other local businesses. He creates jobs. He creates wealth.

He is not tribalistic or nepotistic.

He has come from nowhere literally to build his business and provide a beautiful roof over his head.

He has never stolen one kobo of Nigeria’s money be it Federal Government, State Government or Local Government.

He is a devoted family man with only one wife.

He looks after his family very well, providing them shelter in overseas countries.

If not for this government that has poured “sand sand” in his ‘garri’, Evans will still be running his successful business now.

Like the Senate President recently impressed it upon Nigerians during his plane crash of a presidential campaign:

‘FOLLOW PERSON WEY SABI THIEF’

Don’t follow a man whose corruption records are all over the Internet and in the library of congress.

Don’t follow a man whose Party Spokesman has indicted him.

Don’t follow a man whose character has been severely trampled upon by the Ebora Owu himself. A whole Ebora who is now desperately forced to gulp his own vomit while pondering the imminence of the time when he will have to render an account for the USD16 billion he spent on darkness.

If Nigerians must vote a thief, please do it properly. Vote Evans, he won’t ‘thief’ government money. All Evans has to do is share dollars to all those clamouring for Atiku. He will be a sure banker.

Baba Grumpy works in financial services in the United Kingdom. He blogs mostly about football at http://babagrumpy.blogspot.co.uk. His Twitter handle is @BabaGrumpy