Plan B and playing the ostrich

So, the news broke a few days ago about Pastor Paul Adefarasin, founder and senior pastor of the House On The Rock (HOTR), a Pentecostal church with its headquarters in Lagos. In the now-viral video clip, Pastor Paul was talking to members of his congregation about Nigeria’s dire security situation. Among other things, he told them: “If you don’t have a Plan B – I know you have faith, but I have faith too but I have a Plan B…with technology, I can speak to you from anywhere in the world” and then urged members of the congregation to “get yourself a Plan B…whether that’s an okada to Cameroon or flying boat or speed boat as we call them to Seme border or a hole in the ground, get your Plan B because these people are crazy. They are all nutters. The whole bunch of them. And watch the signs because it can happen like this. God forbid! You could be in fright and running for your dear life any day from now if this thing does not come to an end.”

Although the 58-year-old Pastor spoke for much longer, the part that went viral was the bit about having a Plan B. Expectedly, there have been strong reactions especially from those who have chosen to focus on the messenger: ‘How could he be so alarmist? What does he expect those who can’t afford to leave Nigeria to do?’ Of course, it’s also a no-brainer that not every one of Nigeria’s much-vaunted 200 million population (a claim Pastor Paul made sure to say he doesn’t believe) would be able to leave the country in the event of another civil war. I’ve also noticed that quite a good number of those quibbling are people who either have Plan B, or people who are more than capable to whip up a Plan B, even Plan C-Z should the need arise. Why are these people angry with Pastor Paul Adefarasin? If you managed to watch the 12-minute clip, where’s the lie in what he said? And the man was talking to his flock, mind you.  How about we focus for a minute on what could’ve caused this level of frustration and helplessness, that could’ve driven the man of God to speak to his congregation the way he did?

Think about this: Everything Pastor Paul Adefarasin complained about, were Nigeria a different country, we as citizens would be able to express our grievances to those in charge of our affairs. In saner climes, citizens have many ways of expressing their dissatisfaction to their elected governments. Instead, as October 20, 2020, the Lekki tollgate massacre showed, protests are becoming dangerous where being arrested by law enforcement officials is the least of anyone’s problems. Dying or being murdered by those who should be protecting the protesters is now a real worry. The idea of people’s power is being muzzled or so it seems.

So, Nigerians can’t protest but how are the various arms of government applying checks and balances on each other? The last time some legislators dared to invite President Buhari to address them on the growing insecurity all over the country, it got turned into an “anti-North” blackmail. Each time I hear anti-North, I’m tempted to ask what’s so bad in being anti-all the horrible things happening in northern Nigeria right now? Is it illiteracy? Or poverty? Let’s not talk about the banditry/terrorism and violence. Are those who are pro-North happy with the state of things in that region? Really? Are they happy that most of the people in charge of security who’re not doing a good job, to put it mildly, are from the North? Some Katsina State residents fled to the Niger Republic because of insecurity. President Buhari is from Katsina State. And on and on go the examples.

I’ve said all that to say that Nigeria is ‘blessed’ with public servants and leaders who prioritise and have perfected their Plan B’s and Z’s and they don’t need any Pastor Paul showing them the way. As things currently stand, is there anyone in the top leadership of our country who has no Plan B, beginning from the president? He doesn’t need a Plan B. Who needs a Plan B when all he has to do is get on a private jet to go anywhere in the world? Who needs a Plan B when the United Kingdom is where you go to treat a toothache? Speaking of which, it isn’t that long ago news broke that our first lady had relocated to Dubai giving insecurity at the presidential villa as one of the reasons she had to leave. At the time, Nigerians scoffed at the idea of the presidential residence, Aso Villa being insecure, enough for a ‘whole’ first lady to ‘japa’ to Dubai.

Well, you must never say never in Nigeria. On Monday came news about an armed robbery at the house of the chief of staff within the villa. Between Bashir Ahmad, presidential aide on New Media, and Garba Shehu, Senior Special Assistant to the President on Media and Publicity, the two couldn’t settle on the correct version of events. While Bashir, dismissed the report as fake news, Garba Shehu, Senior Special Assistant to the President on Media and Publicity, who must fancy himself an accomplished wordsmith called it a foolish attempt… Let’s not miss the import of insecurity at the Presidential Villa. And in all this, some people are more concerned that a Pastor was advising members of his congregation about the need to have a Plan B? The point is that Plan B is not new especially to people in government.

Mind you looking for a better life is not a crime. You don’t necessarily need the threat of war to have alternatives for your life. It’s the reason some of us opted for education. It’s the reason some of us moved from our villages, etc. Which is why much as I love Lampese my village, I had to move to Lagos, Abuja, and I’m still moving. The real tragedy is that due to a spectacular combination of ineptitude and misplaced arrogance, hope is being chased away by helplessness as many can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. And there’s nothing Pastor Paul has said that the Sheikh Gumis and Miyetti Allah’s haven’t threatened far worse to no reaction from the government. Do Pastor Paul’s words weigh more because he’s not from the North? Or because he’s a Christian? If Pastor Paul Adefarasin is guilty of anything at all, it’s the fact that he dared to reveal what our leaders want only for themselves and their families.

What Plan B is better than the lives our politicians enjoy at our expense? Why is politics so do or die, that some keep contesting, defeat after defeat, refusing to take No for an answer? It’s often not because of their burning desire to serve or any great ideas they have for development. Is it not so they can have a variety of Plan Bs?

Onoshe Nwabuikwu, AIRTIME columnist is a renowned TV/Film critic, and Film scholar. She also has experience in Advertising as a senior Copywriter and Corporate Communications as Communications consultant.