Pro-women to anti-men movement: Nigerian wave of feminism

BY BABAJIDE ADEOKIN

The meaning Nigerian women and the ” the millennial girls ” read to feminism is so sour and off key. The ensuing beam of acrimonious reactions across social media today as a result of misconception of the central idea of feminism is a pointer to the caliber of women that men have to deal with in the light of 21st century.

Before you join the gang to gag the voice of patriarchal system of antiquity, ask yourself how feminism sprang up, the philosophical background and the historical antecedent that gave rise to what is hitherto called feminism. This would probably lead you to understanding feminist theory too as a wide ranging system of ideas about social life and human experience practically developed from the purview of women. I know many Nigerians are steep in the ‘follow follow’ syndrome. We absorb alien ideas; we imbibe cultures without understanding the rationale behind such cultures and ideas. I would call this ‘Bandwagon effect’ if you ask me and with such pattern of life, we might end up losing out of life in the process of living someone else’s life.

I remember a post by a lady on Facebook sometimes ago admonishing ladies never to condescend to the level of tidying up the kitchen for their partner, this is laughable. I did a background check on this lady, she’s happily married with kids however she is in the name of feminism asking single and laboriously searching ladies to shun those little things that today’s men attach importance to.

While it is not written on the stone that women must be responsible for chores and cooking, African culture places the status of ” home maker ” on every woman in the society and it is also pertinent to reiterate that this does not in any way translate to inferiority as people may be quick to conclude. It is just a gender role that has been in existence since the era of hunting and gathering societies where men hunt both large and small animals, construct boats, and constantly working with wood, stone, bone and horn while women on the converse make food available, fetch water, prepare drinks and take care of the younger generation. Invariably, this somewhat division of labor is predicated on socially learned behaviors and responsibilities associated with masculinity and feminity rather than a case of who is superior and who is inferior and in the actual sense of it, today, men do women’s jobs more than women do men’s jobs. In today’s marriages, we see some men supporting their wives in variety of ways, the only thing women do alone is producing babies out of their own body.

We need to ask ourselves the basic and central idea of feminism. Is feminism an attempt to make women equal to men?  Many of these blind Nigerian feminists obnoxiously believe feminism is solely about disrupting the societal standard of who does what, when and how and little wonder they  always want to flaunt the feminine muscle (if there’s anything as such)by engaging in thumb war on social media whenever the issue of marriage and relationship is being dissected.  It sickens to see that many women today just engage in this mass of Inexplicable oddity and they tag it feminism, infact some are so enthusiastic of the fact that thier friends call them feminist while in the actual sense they are far from the nude reality of what feminism entails.

The simple and central idea of feminism became known in 1930 to be a movement for political right especially the right to vote and subsequently advanced to economic and social equality around 1960s there about. I mean the right to work and participate fully in social life. Feminists then were simply interested in righting the wrongs of the patriarchy structure because it was evident that parameters that are central to self-actualization were unequally distributed in the society. Women get less of material resources, social status, power and opportunities than do men.  Upon these well-structured points, reasonable women of then stood their ground to make sure these things were looked into. Today, most of the development policies and programs are targeted at women as a result of this well-articulated fight against the disadvantaged social position of women in the society. Today, everywhere you look there are women who are freer and more powerful than they have ever been before.  We have more women in the in the industries; they are doing better than males in the educational system; they have reached position of great power and status. In the western societies, they have more control over when and whether to have children, similar number of women are entering the legal and medical professions and able to act in traditionally masculine ways. Women seem to have the independence and confidence to choose the lifestyle they wish, free of most of the constraints which limited their options in the past. Not many of the so called Nigerian feminists today know that the cow girl style was invented by the then feminists also in a bid to ensure that women have a say even in the Bedroom.

The women that fought for these improvements were married women living under the authority of a man, happily enjoying the sweet savor that comes with having a family.  The ilk of Florence Kelley and Marianne Weber all played intellectual roles in the feminist movement of then to ensure that women who are in the actual sense the species of humans that helped to ensure that society continue to exist by recruiting new members through the institution of the family are well catered for and respected in the society not merely to topple men or make themselves equal to men. However, misguided philosophies of the likes of Chimamanda Adichie who thinks marriage is a bad Institution for women is quite insipid. Perhaps we need to inquire from her why despite so much hatred for men she went ahead to tieing the knot with a Maryland United States based doctor Ivara Esege.

Our Nigerian ladies want to tailor their own feminism on the premise of ” I can’t be a slave to any man, after you are done eating, wash your plate and I will wash mine, if you cannot wash my pant I cannot wash your boxer, if you are not ready to clean up for our baby, then let’s not bother giving birth”. Are these in tandem with the central idea of feminism? How do these absurdities fit into the philosophical foundation of feminism?

A well-articulated and ideologically based struggle for women right in Nigeria shouldn’t necessarily tamper with the long existing family and marriage structure. Of what relevance are ideologies that are antithetical to the goals of the society, break homes and make female folks see male folks as opposition? A feminist movement in Nigeria should simply look at salient issues confronting women and the girl child in Nigeria. I read that some cultures in the east still place high value on male child than the female counterparts, some would rather send the male child to school and leave the female to any available vocational training, where resources aren’t sufficient, some are made to drop out from school to enable the family channel the available resources to the education of the male child. Some husbands would humiliate and even divorce their wives for not having male children or male child as the case may be. This should tap into the deep sentiments of a true Nigerian feminist. In institutions of higher learning, lecturers with compulsive sexual behavior with all time high libido see female students as nothing but empty holes surrounded by flesh waiting for their masculine deposit of sperm. They see the sexually exploitable features before the academic potentials embedded in them. As such, female are constantly been objectified, a lady is first seen as sexual object before been considered as human, the media portrayer of women as wounded identity through sexual subordination, the issue of rape, divorce, baby mama and side chic syndrome that are causing acute depression for women in their matrimonial homes and a host of others should be the major point of call to reinvent and reshape the already besmirched values of women in the society. These are the genuine issues facing women today and would fit well under the umbrella of feminism in the Nigerian context.

However the kind of feminism that seeks to constantly cause friction between opposite sex like that of the bourgeoisie and proletariat without a reasonable ideological backing other than ” I can’t cook for any man ” may not really fit in because even the proponents of feminism in the western societies cooked for their husbands as expected of every reasonable woman.  I am not saying you should not stand your ground but stop confusing the world by calling it feminism, it is not feminism. But while going about getting a suitable name for your newly found structural arrangement where you sit comfortably in the sitting room and your husband in the kitchen preparing sumptuous meal for you, remember that most of the people who pioneered the movement in Nigeria are married and enjoying the sonorous sound of their partners amorous groan every night because  their own idea of feminism which you probably failed to come to term with isn’t antithetical to peaceful coexistence of man and woman as husband and wife.

I hope you all see the shining light before it is ruined