RE: The secret diary of Vice President Yemi Osinbajo

BY FEJIRO JOHNSON

Some things are never the way they first appear. But Rudolf Ogoo Okonkwo aka Dr Damages comes across as a one-trick pony, who tries to bully his way past the minds of his readers by unknowingly ridiculing the art of satire that he is supposed to intellectually probe in the first place.

Dr Damages does so much damage to his reputation with many of his articles and so-called satirical pieces. Arguably, he seems to have been blinded by the veil of social media adulation and viral trends. He revels in the limelight of fake news and false inflexions and he does not recognize his own folly.

The sad but recurrent theme of Dr Damages’ articles in recent times points to one major flaw even for the neutral; his tribal bias comes to the fore and raises questions about his motives.

For instance, Damages has not criticized any prominent Igbo politician as much as he has criticised President Muhammadu Buhari and especially the vice president, Yemi Osinbajo. It seems like he almost derives morbid pleasure from writing warped satirical articles about the VP, in an attempt to cover real tribal motivations and Igbo irredentism.

I challenge him openly to show cause why he shouldn’t be adorned with the dishonourable apparel of a tribal jingoist.

Does anyone recall Damages writing any piece on the Labour Party presidential candidate, Peter Obi, or the labour minister, Chris Ngige, who is also from the south-east, or even his own state governor?

I don’t recall him penning anything of note criticising their personality or events around them. Ngige, for instance, is in the eye of the storm over the lingering strike by the Academic Staff Union of Universities (ASUU) among other urgent national issues. That strike started when another of his kinsmen was a federal minister in the education ministry. Did you read Damages attempting ‘The Secret Diary of Dr Nwajuiba’

But Damages would rather focus on one personality.

Everything points out to the fact that Rudolf is a hired pen mercenary, who does the bidding of his puppet masters, and targets his pen at the victim of their selfish objectives and dissatisfaction. But it is the deliberate ignoring of his own kinsmen that is more appalling.

Also, Rudolf has not bothered to criticize the infamous IPOB leader, Nnamdi Kanu, despite the violence and atrocities Kanu and his followers have unleashed. The emergence of Kanu wearing expensive Fendi clothing on the day of his arrest should have provoked some very creative writing but Damages would rather wait for the next opportunity to hit at leaders from other regions!

When it comes to issues, Dr Damages does more damage to whatever molecule of objectivity he was supposed to exhibit in the first place. He does not talk about issues when it comes to writing about the vice president. It seems he is drunk with clicks and likes on social media for his favourite subject that he likes to vilify at the behest of his paymasters.

Also, his satires are bland and devoid of substance. For instance, in Okonkwo’s fake ‘The secret diary of Vice President Yemi Osinbajo’, his long introduction on the New York Times story about how General Mark Milley, President Trump’s chairman of the joint chiefs of staff, almost resigned was laughable. A discerning reader would even struggle to find the satirical link between General Milley’s resignation letter and VP Osinbajo.

Every piece that Damages has written on the vice president is an indication of the writer’s folly and one-sided view of pushing fake narratives about Nigeria’s number two, a man reputed for his integrity, dedication and commitment to national development. Okonkwo flirts with defamation in his pieces on Osinbajo in the name of satire. This is a dangerous line to also thread.

It also seems that Okonkwo, who claims to teach Post-Colonial African History at the School of Visual Arts in New York City, may also need a lesson or two from history. Columnists that have in the recent past used satire as a medium of communicating with their readers have elevated national discourse with their pieces. Readers could see and appreciate the intellectual depth and humour they bring into their pieces. Sadly, the articles by Rudolf Okonkwo aka Dr Damages are far from the right side of history.

Maybe it is time for him to sit down and have a reality check instead of further damaging the art of satirical pieces in this part of the world with his ethnocentric bias.

Johnson, a public affairs analyst and commentator, writes from Abuja