Restructure disgruntled Nigerians

By Baba Grumpy

The clamor for the restructuring of Nigeria is deafening. The description of what the restructure will look like is the equivalent of a pin drop. 

In recent times, some of the restructuring evangelists have talked about true federalism, especially reducing the power of the central/federal government. This is somewhat desirable as ultimately the primary (assuming security is not an issue) goal of any governance structure is to bring development/progress closer to the man on the streets.

What is worrying however are the voices behind this restructuring clamor.

IPOB & Kanu – last seen clamoring for the unity of Nigeria when Goodluck Jonathan was president.

The South East & South South Elites as well. Especially Pa (rasite) Edwin Clark who was ready to fight a war to keep Nigerian one when his son was the President.

These ones have no locus on this issue. Their motive is plain for the whole world to see. Not only have they been denied the opportunity to feed from the trough, their becks are no longer been wetted (apologies to Don Corleone of The Godfather movie series). These ones plainly want the country to break up come what may. If they have their way, the price in human misery will be unimaginable.

My one fundamental position on most issue is: never trust the message from an untrustworthy source.

Others who are very vocal for restructure in the public space are individuals like IBB and Atiku. IBB is one of those calling for devolving of more powers to the states and is also deeply worried about the prospects of civil war.

The great maradona himself was the single biggest influence on General Abubakar the midwife of the current 1999 constitution. Did he think it was worthwhile giving the same advice to his Man Friday before the 1999 constitution was finalized? There was a threat of civil war back then too but they ignored it and ploughed on. Is this anything to do with the fact that he is now more accepting of his own mortality or the fact that he might want to die peacefully in case many with still a big axe to grind descend on the Hilltop mansion in Minna if the country were to break up?

Again don’t forget. “Never trust the message from an untrustworthy source” 

On his own, Atiku appears to have been calling for restructuring for a while. However very much like the leading lights from South East & South South Regions of Nigeria & the Maximum Leader of Biafra, Mazi Miracle Worker Nnamdi Kanu (The Leader of the people of Chukwu Abiama himself), why did Atiku not push for the restructuring of the trough when his snout was in it? What is all these Damascene moment all these people are suffering from?

Atiku also spoke about the need for dialogue. He advocated for another National Talkshop where billions will be spunked away in putting together an aimless media circus. He unfortunately does not understand that the devil makes work for idle hands and probably can’t comprehend how wild fire spreads.

I am sorry, I can’t see beyond Atiku’s desire to become the President of Nigeria at whatever cost with his restructure noise. Make the right waves, talk the talk, become president, stall on your promise or deliver a watered down version of said promises. NEVER AGAIN. May his ‘Soroye’ ism continue.

The APC Progressive Governors Forum on its own want restructure and their definition appears again like some of the ones already mentioned above i.e. devolution of powers from the Federal Government to states. Which kid wont like more candy? State governors want more powers! YES YES. If I was a state governor, I WILL WANT ALL POWERS.

But wait o. What are they doing with the powers they already have? Paying salaries? With the exception of Ambode, El Rufai, Aregbesola and I hear Abubakar Sani Bello & Tambuwal, what are they doing to improve the lot of their people? Blaming their fornication for natural disasters? Trying to depose traditional rulers? Sharing Paris Club refund money?

Please let’s get serious. For starters, someone needs to explain to these set of governors that their party’s name is All PROGRESSIVES Congress and you cannot have an ALL PROGRESSIVES CONGRESS PROGRESSIVE GOVERNORS FORUM. I know that progressives gonna progress but please don’t be a progressive progressive.

Again don’t forget. “Never trust the message from an untrustworthy source”.

As a collective, Nigerian governors (all irrespective of party) are untrustworthy.  Deserving of as much opprobrium as the National Assembly. Not to be trusted.

One possible exception (maybe) to the restructuring clamor are the Afenifere leaders. They have been at it since at least the post June 12, 1993 period when the election of Bashorun Abiola was restructured by IBB.  However you have to think or you could assume that the Afenifere clamor too was borne out of self-interest.

Over the past weekend, Chief Ayo Adebanjo, a self confessed preacher of restructuring for over 63 years piped up with an interview he gave The Punch newspaper. My overwhelming recollection of that interview is Pa Adebanjo’s bad belle for Tinubu, Buhari, Obasanjo and Northern Nigeria. I suspect if you open up his stomach, you will see some decaying beef in it. His hatred is ‘conc’. He too spoke about restructuring from the perspective of federalism. Devolving powers to the states / region?

I now want to ask a few questions to all proponents of restructuring:

Will the same number of states as we currently have be the federating units in a restructured Nigeria or are we going back to the 1954 Federal Structure?

Will Lagos state want to coexist with Ekiti state in that post restructure utopia? Will the South South states want to be in the same space as Mazi Kanu’s people?

As previously asked, will we be entrusting these devolved powers to the same governors who haven’t quite managed to collectively govern themselves out of a Shoprite paper bag?

Do the proponents of restructure understand that with reduced repatriation of funds to the centre, there will be no cross subsidization of state expenditure as things currently stand?

To explain further, the South South lays the golden oil egg, Lagos (largely) generates the business activities golden egg. Once your restructuring delusions come to pass, the South South’s money will no longer be going to the South East states or anywhere else. Ditto for Lagos money.

How will Maximum Leader Kanu’s proud Biafran nation survive on the recently fact checked view that the internally generated revenue (IGR) of all South East states is less than the IGR of Ogun state?

Who will solve the problems of the Umuleri & Aguleri communities & similar issues in a restructured Nigeria?

In conclusion, I will suggest that those clamoring for restructure should be bold enough to tell us that they are unhappy for Buhari to be president and they want him bogged down with irrelevant battles & resign.   Be bold and say it with your chest.

Or better still; confess that you don’t know what you want.

Yes there are significant issues with the Nigerian nation as it is and it requires a lot of work to make it better. Political restructuring is not one of the solutions. Let us restructure our cake baking capacity, let us restructure our capacity to protect ourselves, let us restructure our desire to love on another, let us restructure our ability to have frank, open, honest and unhypocritical debates and then maybe Nigeria go better.

Baba Grumpy works in financial services in the United Kingdom. He blogs mostly about football at http://babagrumpy.blogspot.co.uk. His Twitter handle is @BabaGrumpy