[SISI WENDY] Is office romance advisable?

It is easy to develop a crush on a co-worker as you both inevitably spend the greater part of the working day together. Sooner or later, you would find someone with whom you share common interests. Before you know it, it leads to sharing a few social moments together and if it all goes well, a relationship in place. Now some work out eventually but some end disastrously, often leading to one person leaving the company for the other. This is simply because they can’t stand each other.

Before you act further upon your crush on a co-worker, consider the following dangers of an office romance.

Might get ugly. Office romances are easy to get into but what makes them a bad idea is because they are equally hard to get out of. When things don’t work out between you and your crush, both of you are faced with a difficult situation. Worse is if it’s a co-worker of a superior position. While it is mandatory courtesy office rules that you must work with and respect your co-worker as a team member, it gets harder seeing that you both loath yourselves. So being around each other gets uncomfortable and impossible to keep up with. This can result into poor delivery of jobs and professional input. No matter how much you try to be professional at your job, your failed relationship with your ex who is also your co-worker always comes back to bite you in the butt somehow. Especially if he or she continues to rake up personal issues at work as it really gets difficult not to venture into touchy matters.

Company policy forbids it. Most companies are against co-workers getting involved with each other at their place of work. Some companies have a written policy against employee dating and this leads to job termination once discovered. However, most office romance embargoes are placed only when it may involve a boss and a subordinate. Employers frown heavily upon such acts and rightly so: it is only a matter of time before personal issues quickly become workplace issues leading to unsatisfactory job performance. This is one of the main reasons employers frown on this practice in the first place.

Relationship vs office duties. Comparison is the greatest killer of a relationship. Worse when it is between two employees involved in an office romance working together. There is a certain level of inevitability working together where both parties would be competing directly for jobs or assignments or at least constantly contrasting career progress with that of your partner’s. Feelings of not being at par with your partner or not moving fast enough or working hard enough. This is not conducive for a harmonious relationship. Insecurity falls into place as well in every situation concerning work as when your partner compliments your work effort, you may suspect it is just because he/she is dating you. On the other hand if your partner is critical of your work, you may assume he/she might still be bearing grudges of the night before. Location is also another problem an office romance faces. One of the parties involved may be required to relocate following a promotion, a decision would have to be made with choices to consider between your partner/office romance and the promotion leaving an uncertainty as to where the relationship is going.

Might not be good for your career. The inconveniences that come with office romance may or may not be worth the struggle. Because no matter how you stay professional to your job while trying to keep both lives apart, it will always lead to people assuming your success is conditional. For instance, if you are dating someone superior and are due for a raise because you have worked hard enough for it, it will still be assumed that you only got it because you are dating the boss. On the flip, if you are dating someone in your department and you get a promotion, you become his/her boss and we know how ugly that can get. And as the boss over your crush, whatever is done for your supposed subordinate would be considered a favour because you both are involved with each other. Also, if the relationship ends badly, you are likely to face possible indictment from the HR with complains of unwanted advances and a harassment suit is sure to wreck your career. Again, if both of you actually succeed and work it out and are in a lovey-dovey relationship, it too can have its own effects. Because the more private time you spend together during office hours, the more and more you’ll begin to alienate yourself from your other colleagues. This can be detrimental when it comes to office shakes.

Estranging other co-workers. No matter how much you try to keep the relationship from the awareness of other colleagues, your romantic involvement is bound to impact them directly. For instance, sitting together during meetings or lunch at the cafeteria would only make others feel some certain sense privacy should be given to you both. Excluding you both from certain conversations only comes natural after that for lack of trust especially if it is a relationship involving boss and subordinate. Consciously or subconsciously, your relationship may influence decisions that go well beyond a lunchroom. Your romance may color everyone’s judgment and a cauldron of rumors and gossip would be brewing. When there is a messy breakup, some of your co-workers may feel pressured to take sides with you or your ex and others may feel embarrassed about your situation and begin to avoid you. Another complexities of an office romance is that either of you may start flirting at your workplace. Granted that you and your ex have agreed to move on, but this does not mean that you or your ex start flirting with the new intern at the first chance you get. This will only go to show that you are actually yet to get over your breakup since you are still looking for ways to make him or her jealous. Moreover it may lower you in the esteem of the rest of your colleagues who will see you as just another sex maniac whose mind is never on the job.