Tales By Moonlight: Don Gruffy, The Chocolate Loving Audu and five lessons

BY ABAYOMI OMOTAYO

NTA’s Tales by Moonlight should be a national treasure but unfortunately it has been trashed in the national trash can. I read an unconfirmed report online that even NTA cannot account for the tapes. In other words, they are lost. What a shame.

Before I go further, please note that emphasis is on ‘unconfirmed report’ before I get branded as a peddler of fake news. I certainly do not want to be hounded by our now very gestapo SSS operatives on charges bordering on incitement this Friday so that I can sleep in detention till Monday before the possibility of a bail which I am sure would be frustrated. I cannot boast of the magnanimity of any Madam to pity me and not allow the due process of the law to wield its big axe which of course will be the intention of my arresters. I dare someone in NTA to rubbish this unconfirmed report with proofs. Well, do not blame me; I do not have faith like Femi Adesina who does not need to speak to his principal to confirm that he is hale and hearty.

I accept that the mustard seed is like a giant beside my faith in this matter. We can all cheer up, it is not all gloom and doom, there is Barney and Friends, created in 1987, imported from America and still a popular children’s television series. We have warmly accepted Barney, after all, this is Nigeria, the giant of Africa cannot be confined to some local Tales by Moonlight, she needs international collaboration and exposure at the expense of local stuff as a true Big Brother of Africa.

Our story for the day is already a popular folklore and remember that a Tales by Moonlight session is not complete without ‘Auntie’ asking the children the lessons they learnt from the story. Let us not bore ourselves with the whole story, we shall now go to the lessons learnt and perhaps a little bit of recap in the process.

Lesson One: Advocacy is more than venting anger on social media. Advocacy must be based on facts, whether empirical, anecdotal or logical facts. Two wrongs don’t make a right therefore you cannot fight injustice with lies. Be wise, come up with facts and amplify it such that even your adversaries will not be able to gainsay nor resist. Unfortunately, the chocolate loving Audu got his facts from his driver and this eventually drove him to the DSS detention center. ‘Chai’!

Lesson Two: This is Nigeria, human lives do not matter. Death toll is just mere statistics. Even if people are dying in their numbers from senseless killings orchestrated by senseless folks, the Don’s main responsibility is not to protect the people and ensure no reoccurrence. The main priority is to arrest anyone trying to advocate for the oppressed and the maimed by hiding under the guise of incitement. It is also a priority to pacify the killers even if it means paying them. It is a smarter solution. Ensuring adequate protection is a harder solution. This is twenty first century; people work smart and not hard to achieve results. ‘Gbam’!

Lesson Three: This is Nigeria. Our leaders, sorry, I mean constituted authorities (never mind the fact that we the people constituted them) have a huge sense of entitlement to unquestionable devotion and bloated ego too. Physical size and height regardless. One small boy drunken in chocolate instead of love cannot just come from nowhere attempting to ruffle the feather of the master feather ruffler himself. ‘Kolewerk’. It cannot work. If it remains ‘small to work sef’ he will use experience to upturn the tables on technicalities. ‘Na so’!

Lesson Four: This is Nigeria, there will always be committees and fact finding missions. It is in our national DNA. This is especially true for communal clashes and attacks. These committees and fact finding missions do not actually stop the violence; they identify ways to stop the violence and then report back to the authorities who will now set up another committee to stop the violence. Take note that while this is going on, people will still be dying like chicken but there is nothing the government can do. Due process must be followed. Those ones are the unfortunate collateral damage. As I write this which unfortunately is a few days after the chocolate lover was released, there have been attacks in the place where he originates from and people were killed. Maimed and butchered in the most callous ways. ‘Eyah’!

Lesson Five: Now we have a label for this generation. A certain globally respected, nobel-prize-winning, green-card-cutting voice once called his generation the wasted generation. We can now adjectivize our generation too. A certain red loving, reportedly humble and amiable guy once asked “are we the turning point generation?” Thankfully and finally another respected Uncle Dee has provided an answer in his recent piece weighing in on the stunt Mr. Innocent of Benue pulled on us few weeks ago. We are the ‘Ajebutter’ generation. Meaning a spineless and fickle lot. If it were Fela or Gani Fawehimmi, they would damn the consequences, stay in that detention till Monday, get themselves bailed, come out with a renewed vigour and intense advocacy that will draw the attention of the whole world to the cruelty going on in the southern part of that center of learning (or killing). A true advocate does not start what he cannot finish. The chocolate loving Audu owes it to himself, the memory of the dead, those lucky to still be alive in that area and posterity to re-strategize, synergize and collaborate methodically, peacefully and yet vivaciously to ensure that his voice is not drowned but rather turned several notches higher up to international level if necessary to ensure that there is a permanent solution to the senseless killings of his people. Perhaps he was born for such a time as this? I do not know, I cannot say, he should google the answer. ‘Lobatan’!

Omotayo tweets @AbayomiGOmotayo