The beautiful bricklayer and her choices

…Niyi pulled away and left. His shadow sublimed into the night. I waved my hands hoping he would stop, hoping he will reconsider his stands, hoping he would remember all the good times but he never looked back. My outstretched arms caught the wind, its cold emptiness. My fist tightened against nothing. I sobbed silently. The pains rent my hearts to shreds.

Fadesewa returned to my side. She swung her arms over my shoulder. I shifted my head to her laps and released the inundation of emotions. She held me close rocking me like a baby. Her hands continue to massage my shoulders to calm my nerves but today, the therapy failed. I just lost Niyi. I lost everything I know.

“Ladun, hmmmm. …..” Her voice rang through my entire being in the usual strong, decisive and sometimes sarcastic tone. Although I couldn’t answer, I corked my ears. I was super attentive. I needed to listen to all the advice in the world. Like a fallen pack of card, I was scattered everywhere. I needed to be picked and dusted one by one.
“Ladun, I am so glad today finally came. This funeral took too long to happen. Now you can heave a sigh of relief, breathe the air of freedom and await the brightness of the sun. This is the reality you needed all along.”
“But Fadesewa, how could Niyi do this to me? After seven years……He said it with absolutely no feelings, not an iota of regret or remorse ha,! Niyi is wicked. Msheww… May the lord ……”

“Shut up! ….And stop the curse. Cowards loose either way. They run away yet the war knocks on their door. You had several opportunities to have sent Niyi packing, but you allowed him rent a space for free in your life. You knew both of you were heading nowhere but you choose to deceive yourself. Ladun, what man will date you for seven years without any plans for marriage?

You waited, he got a Job, you were ready to contribute money to rent a house yet he insisted on living in his father’s house. He managed to buy a car yet the excuses kept pouring in like a reckless downpour.”
Every word from her struck a bad chord of harmony. I screamed and cried loudly. She covered my mouth and held me. The security man rose from his bench but she waved him away. I sobbed silently. My shirt was soaked.

“Fade….Fadeeeeee…” I sighed and nodded my head. “I stayed too long with Niyi with no clear cut agenda. I was a fool. But after two abortions, should Niyi have walked away just like that? You warned me, so many people did…”
Fade shook her head. “I thought it was only one. When was the second one?” I kept quiet. I couldn’t utter a word. I had kept it away from her but now a dead body cannot hide its nakedness from the person that will give it a bath.
“But Ladun, you shouldn’t have allowed it to happen again. Do you want to ruin your life? The first time was a mistake at the feet of ignorance and immaturity but a second time, babes, you volunteered yourself for enjoyment and it took a bad turn; Simple.

“Ha! Fadeeee…. I didn’t want to lose him ni..hmmmm at 34, when a lot of our mates are already married. I thought if I agreed, he will stay… He often threatens me with it… that if I don’t allow him, there are several girls begging everyday to give it for free with no strings attached… so….”

“….So you thought that will help you keep him…..ha, that’s an error, an error of parallax…. Imagine the same Niyi, who has put you through two abortions walks away and gets engaged to the Deacon’s daughter, a supposed spotless bride. He is now a brand new groom-to-be. Meanwhile, if the church knew about your pregnancy, they would have disowned you, a bloody single mother not fit for the aisle. Anyway, thank God he left; well he left a long time ago anyway, he only made a physical exit today.” Her words struck me again.

“And that ring he placed on your finger really spoilt your market. Look, for your information, the delectable Pastor Bro. Niyi got engaged to Morenike last night at a small dinner organized by friends.” I raised my head and quickly rubbed the back of my hands on my face. I looked straight into her eyes. I was shocked to my bones.
“Msheww,…. I pity you. Wo, their introduction is slated for ………..” I raised my hands to shut Fadesewa. She smiled and left the words hanging.

“Fade, haha, so it’s true. Hmmm, you mean Niyi proposed to Morenike yesterday; Are you sure? Fadesewa handed me a pack of tissue and beckoned to me to go ahead and blow my nose. I dragged them on impulse before blowing it out on the tissue.

“But Ladun, seriously speaking, you really need to sit down and examine the whole situation. You must take responsibility for your actions too. I told you then but…..”

“But Fadesewa, what exactly did I do wrong? Why blame me after all the sacrifices. Niyi told me he saw a vision where the lord told him that I am his wife. You and I know how respectable he was as the president of the Christian Student Union; he was very spiritual then……”

Fadesewa busted into a fit of laughter. “What did you just say? Yinmu…..Oh! so all of a sudden the lord didn’t say…. Mshweew…., you bera borrow yourself some brain girl. Most of these boys were hardly out of their diapers when they were seeing these visions. Most of these visions were orchestrated by their lustful desire. Men are no spirit girl, they have blood running through their veins, old or young. The Bible says he who finds a good wife, he didn’t say the lord will give you…..Yes, you can seek the face of the lord but ultimately the guy must go out and search and that’s after searching for food, house and money.

“Ladun, Beautiful Bricklayers and Responsible Foremen are scarce. It is essentially a black market. The rules are very fluid. But there are basics to know.

“Ladun, a woman must combine well the role of a good wife, mother and learn the acts of seduction. Why do you think many women lose their husbands to mistresses? Within the ambit of the Christian beliefs, Charm plus wisdom plus kitchen Skills plus Bed Skills plus spiritual skills plus beauty skills makes all the difference.” I looked on as Fadesewa continued.

“Let’s start from your pastor. Didn’t I tell you that a 30 days fasting and prayer for single girls in your church was a murderous mission? Has your pastor sat down to analyze the reasons why the men in your church go to other churches to take their bride?

Secondly, if you date a man for about a year, you should ask him questions about his plan for the relationship especially if you are ready for marriage. If he doesn’t seems to have plans, bounce him, exit him, give him a standing warning to vacate your space, so that other responsible someborri can see your fine face.” I smiled despite the pains.

“Hold it Fadesewa; are you suggesting I approach a man myself? You know that is almost unheard of in our culture.”
“Hen, it almost unheard of, and that’s why we have many girls still waiting endlessly. There are many ways of making yourself the viable option without appearing cheap or wayward. He who finds… he will look, but if you are hiding away.. then ..”

‘Ok Fade I understand…..”
“Thirdly, the Beautiful Bricklayer must be visible, available, cheerful and helpful. The right place at the right time. Look at Rebecca, she was spotted in the evening when maidens go out to fetch water. Where do you go to? Stop going to old people’s home yes when you attend 70th, 80th birthday with your parents. Cut off their loins and have a life. No matter how bitter or bad, you must continue to portray the right demeanor”

The fourth point is based on Vision. Any man worth considering at all must have a vision. “Mshewww… Fadeee.. that was a sore spot in our relationship. Anytime I tried to discuss this with Niyi, we end up quarrelling and then he starts a marathon malice.” Fade laughed. “Babe, a man that lacks vision is a dangerous mediocre”
“But Fade, vision or no vision I supported Niyi. I did. Do you know how much he still owes me?” Fade beckoned to one of the waiters.

“Two glasses of Chapman Please….A bowl Of Asun for me and ……..”. She winked at me. “I will do fresh fish?”
“Ladun, the fifth point is about Money. Never spend your money on any man that you have no future with. Your peanuts could no longer sustain the gluttonous beast you created out of Niyi. Infact you spoilt and gave him a false sense of entitlement. Msheeww… He was a leech and you knew it. A parasite you tolerated for too long. There are different types of men and they all have their Issues. But by all means ask yourself, what war am I equipped to fight? Can I tolerate Adultery, or can I survive a mediocre? Can I live with a hardworker who lacks emotion or a party freak and player who is out and about? You must choose your war from the beginning and understand your tactics. But by all means look out for a Priest-Protector-Provider”
“Hmmm… Fade, that’s so true….”

“Apart from Niyi, you had your own Issues o. Babes, apart from me, you have no friend. The waiter brought our drinks and food. “Ladun, when was the last time you visited the Salon? Look at your nails? They are so unkept.” I looked at them and hissed “Look Fade leave me alone Jare, don’t start the sermon on dressing. You know I don’t like to fix anything on my nails and I am so busy”

“Who invited you to a manicure and pedicure party? You do not need to fix nothing, but you need to at least groom them and keep them clean. Look at mine” She stretched her fingers forward and I saw a well manicured nails, nicely polished with a natural colour. “You hair is always in disarray. Compare your carriage to that of Morenike. That girl sure knows how to dress. I also heard she cooks so well. Hmmm….Esther was well adorned. She ruled the house of King Ahazerus and the entire nation by extension. She started laying the foundation as a single girl. Your appealing capacity is poor. Men are deceived by what they see.

Fadesewa took a sip and got up, let’s go over to that table. I got up and dusted my skirt. She took her racket and hand bag. She looked so beautiful in her Tennis outfit. I wished silently for her finesse, her freedom and her faith. She beckoned to the waiter and placed the orders. We settled on the table. For the first time, I felt light, like a burden had been taken off my shoulders.

“Wo Ladun, there is so much I need to tell you and the night is long. Let’s eat first and then I do an hour on the court. My coach is waiting for me. By the way, Akin has been disturbing me for your number for about three weeks. I just forwarded it to him. And so just you know too, Kelechi proposed to me last week Friday…