The beautiful bricklayer and her foreman

On becoming a “Beautiful Bricklayer”, some have the first opportunity of learning from actions and inaction of daddy, mummy, aunties or the big brother “Social Media” which houses all manner of pathetic experiences. But others simply walk in blindly, becoming the guinea pig.

Yes bricklayers, female bricklayers. Oh! ….you didn’t know, hen en, nobody told you that you will be carrying blocks, cements, stones, ponpon etc……Well, I’m telling you now or simply reminding you that once you are a woman/female or you sign the dotted line and  become a wife, and the children start rolling in, you become a bricklayer.

It reminds me of that song, Alaru to n Je buredi, awo ori e lo n je ti ko mo….’ Or why do you think the Bible has it that a wise woman builds her house, but the foolish one pulls it down i.e. A wise woman is a bloody beautiful bricklayer. Why Wise-Woman and not Wise-Wife? I believe wise woman explains that these skills of building a good home and as an extension the nation needs to have been acquired even before the advent of marriage.

I read a lot of stuff on social media these days and most of what I see is talk about divorce, domestic violence, how to stand up with the same ego and claim same equality as the man, how a woman must never allow the man to trample on her etc. In a nutshell, I see that most females sleep and wake up with the mindset that men are never up to any good. Men, is this narrative true or just an unfair generalized perception – the danger of a single story?  I read a post recently where someone said shewais afraid of getting married because of all she reads and hears every day. Marriage, like every other venture in life, has its fair share of risk, high risk I must say. However, the more prepared you are to make it work, the better the chances of excelling. The more reservations, biases and skepticism you bring in, the greater the chances of failure.

Don’t be deceived, marriage is a tough venture, but so is looking for money to survive. However, the bricklayer’s responsibility tossed on the woman does not make her the lesser person, but interestingly the stronger link. It’s no facade!  It’s just how and what it is. Without the subtle, careful and maternal nature of a woman, ready to be a good wife and mother, marriage will never work. Ask the homosexuals in all of their “pretence” of marrying same sex – interestingly, one of them still needs to display the girly subdue, submissive and subtle tendencies – taking up the wifely role

Look at the role of a husband and wife, as the role of the CEO and the COO. Someone must take the lead, someone must fix the shit. In a manufacturing company, without products availability by the COO, the CEO has no P&L to present to the board. So truly God knows someone must be that stabilizing force and he gave that responsibility to the WOMEN –WIFE. 

Becoming a bricklayer in the world of construction is not a simple matter. You are the one to build the foundation, the structure/skeleton/frames of the building which holds everything. So the noise about female emancipation, freedom, women liberation may fail to become music if not properly communicated for the right reasons. Is it really about equality or equity?

Being the bricklayer may keep you in the background, but it’s not demeaning. So the next time an older woman/man says “Owo e lo wa” (that is the success of your marriage is in your hands) please don’t get angry. What they are trying to say is that you hold more of the aces; you are more equipped and have more capacity to make things work. They want you to exhaust all opportunities to make it work first before deciding to ship out. However, if your foreman (husband) arrives the site angry and decides not to give you food or suddenly decides to start applying corporal punishment……………………Hmmmm…

But first things first, who is a beautiful bricklayer? How do you become the beautiful bricklayer? When some of the bricks you lay keep falling off, what should you do? When should you stop laying the bricks, knowing that the foreman (husband) no longer wants you on site?  How do you run when you haven’t gotten any cheese to help you make the right choices? I need to quickly go lay some bricks in the kitchen. When I’m done, we will continue the gist. Remember, it is not about perfection but genuineness!