Tinted windows and Nigerian harassment saga

When the Federal Capital Territory police command announced their latest brilliant strategy to combat crime – banning tinted windows and covered number plates – I couldn’t help but laugh. Not a humorous, lighthearted laugh, but that sardonic chuckle Nigerians have perfected after years of bureaucratic nonsense.

Let’s cut to the chase: this is yet another classic example of our security apparatus choosing the most superficial, ineffective method to address a complex problem.

Criminals are running rampant, and the police’s grand solution is to tell citizens to remove their window tints. Seriously?

Imagine the scene: hardworking Nigerians, already battling an economy that’s squeezing them tighter than a vice, now being told they must expose themselves completely while driving. Because apparently, personal privacy is now a criminal trait. The audacity is breathtaking.

The directive itself reads like a comedy script. SP Josephine Adeh’s statement is a masterpiece of bureaucratic absurdity: “If your vehicle has tinted glasses, kindly remove them to avoid having your vehicle impounded.” Kindly? There’s nothing kind about this blanket ban that treats every citizen like a potential criminal.

The police claim this is about security. But we know better, don’t we? This looks suspiciously like another avenue for extortion, another mechanism to harass law-abiding citizens. Our beloved police force – an institution that has turned harassment into an art form – has found yet another instrument to make life difficult.

Let’s dissect the logic, or rather, the lack thereof. The FCT police commissioner, Olatunji Disu, argues that tinted windows prevent people from identifying victims in distress. Valid point? Perhaps. But here’s a radical suggestion: instead of forcing citizens to compromise their personal comfort and safety, why don’t we focus on preventing the actual crimes?

The house of representatives, to their credit, seems to have a more nuanced approach. They’ve called for a grace period, for public notice, for a more humane implementation. They understand what the police apparently don’t: that knee-jerk reactions solve nothing. At least someone in our political landscape is thinking beyond the immediate, performative action.

But this is larger than just tinted windows. This is about a systemic problem in how we approach governance and security in Nigeria. It’s about leadership that consistently chooses the path of least intelligence, that sees citizens as problems to be controlled rather than people to be protected.

Every month, it seems our leaders wake up with a single mission: How can we make Nigerian life more challenging today? NIN registration, sudden policy changes, arbitrary bans – it’s a never-ending circus of bureaucratic torment. It’s almost as if there’s a secret competition among government agencies to see who can create the most inconvenience for citizens.

The real tragedy is how this reflects our broader societal challenges. We’re a nation with incredible potential, blessed with resourceful, resilient people. Yet our institutions seem designed to frustrate rather than facilitate progress. A simple drive becomes a potential encounter with harassment, a window tint transforms into a criminal conspiracy.

The real irony? Abuja, our Federal Capital Territory, should be the safest place in Nigeria. Instead, “one chance” operators are having a field day, and the police’s solution is to make driving more uncomfortable. Classic Nigerian solution: treat the symptom, ignore the disease.

And let’s be brutally honest – we know how this will play out. Luxury cars belonging to big men will miraculously remain untouched. It’s the middle-class driver, the small business owner, the average Nigerian who will bear the brunt of this directive. The rich will continue to enjoy their privacy and comfort, while the rest are left exposed and vulnerable.

Our security challenges demand innovative, intelligent solutions. We need comprehensive strategies that address root causes: poverty, unemployment, and systemic failures. Not another band-aid solution that creates more problems than it solves.

Consider the broader context. In a country grappling with insurgency, economic collapse, and widespread insecurity, our police are fixated on window tints. It would be hilarious if it weren’t so tragic. This is the equivalent of using a band-aid to treat a gunshot wound – comically inadequate and potentially harmful.

The police should reverse this ban and go back to the drawing board. Invest in intelligence gathering. Improve community policing. Train officers better. Create robust tracking systems. Develop community engagement programmes.

These are real solutions that require actual work and actual thinking.

But that would require effort, strategic planning, and a genuine commitment to public service. Much easier to hassle citizens, right? Much simpler to create a directive that looks like action but changes nothing.

To the FCT police command, I say this: Nigerians are tired. Tired of being treated like problems to be managed, instead of citizens to be served. Tired of constant harassment. Tired of leadership that seems more interested in creating obstacles than solving them.

This window tint ban is just another symptom of a larger disease – a governance approach that sees citizens as subjects to be controlled, not stakeholders to be empowered.

Fix the real issues. Develop real solutions. Leave our car windows alone.