Tribute: And my mother died

Yes, I knew long ago that death is inevitable for all mortals. I have lost my father when I least expected. I have lost close relations, including my elder siblings and I have lost some members of my family and even childhood friends.  But despite all these, I almost took it for granted that my mother, Elizabeth Durodola Idowu Ajayi, would die one day. It might be a coincidence but I think my mother hailed from a family where members usually enjoy the longevity of life. At least I know many of them who died when they were approaching 100 years of age or above, including my mother and her immediate younger sister who died few weeks before hers. In fact, the preparation for the wake keep of Olori Felicia Alaba Aladesuyi was at top gear when my mother died on the eve of the event.

Growing up as a parish boy in our then small Catholic Church in Ijan Ekiti early in the 60s and 70s, I understood early in life the import of what the Bible says in Proverb 18:22 that “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from God” because my mother demonstrated all that was expected of a good wife to our father. And as a mother, one cannot obviously wish for a better mother because she was one in a million.  She didn’t only demonstrate unbridled love towards her children and relatives, she was always willing to render help and lift people around her. She was so caring that she was nicknamed ‘mother to all’ because she looked after everybody and was concerned about the affairs of all.

What else to say? Though a prominent local caterer, renowned for operating an Amala Buka in the neighbourhood, my mother brought passion, dedication, and uniqueness to her trade.

Despite not having any formal education, my mother’s love for knowledge and education was unrivaled. At a time when many of her contemporaries didn’t see any reason to support their kids to acquire education, my mother’s belief was that it was only education that could do the magic and make a man great. She would jokingly ask people around her why the position of Commissioner for Agriculture didn’t go to a farmer if indeed education was not important. She spoke to us glowingly about how education lifted Herbert Macaulay, Nnamdi Azikwe, Obafemi Awolowo, and Adekunle Ajasin. Coincidentally, she had in our father a willing and pragmatic man who also believed so much in western education. They shared the same dream and belief about education till death did them part. No doubt, our late father sure needed a cheer-leader like our mother to achieve the educational dream for their children.

Aside from the national figure, their early embrace of Christianity perhaps did the magic. They didn’t only see the various priests that were posted to our community as representatives of God Almighty, they adored them and consulted them on issues that concerned their children’s education.  To those who knew her humble background, even before she got married, this affection for Christ and servants of God, wouldn’t be surprised because her father, late Pa Abraham Olofinmomi was nicknamed ‘Apeere Igbagbo’ (symbol of faith)

Meanwhile, as captured by the current Parish Priest of Saint James’ Catholic Church, Ijan-Ekiti, she was worshiping before she passed on a month ago. According to Rev. Fr. James Ogunmoroti, our dear mother lived a worthy life worthy of emulations a genuine Christian. The man of God described our mother in his tribute as a great woman of faith in the life of the Catholic community in Ijan Ekiti. According to him, she was great in faith and sincere as a Christian in her lifetime. Father Ogunmoroti looked beyond her everyday service to God to issues related to her financial contribution to the church.

He said: According to her financial records, mama carried out all her financial duties in the Church as old as she was. She was of respect to the Priests and always looking forward to a priest coming to her for blessings and to give her Holy Communion. Mama Elizabeth was a lover of Holy Communion. Despite the fact that she could not come to Church due to her old age, she would sit in the front of her house and face the way to the Church as if she was in the Church for Mass.

Mama believed firmly in the word of our Lord Jesus Christ in the Gospel of Saint John which says: ” I am the living bread that came down from heaven. Whoever eats of this bread will live forever; and the bread that I will give for the life of the world is my flesh”. As a result of this, Mama always longed to receive Holy Communion at all times in her lifetime.  Mama Elizabeth Idowu Ajayi, you had tried your best in the journey of faith in your life. You believed firmly in the Resurrection of Christ, may you rest in peace with the Lord Jesus Christ whom you firmly believed in your lifetime on Earth,” the Rev Father stated.

Beyond education and religion, our late mother died a moralist and disciplinarian. Till date, my mind still travels back to those days in retrospection, of how this courageous woman nurtured and moulded us to be who and what we are today. From table etiquette to dealings with elders and men and women of God, my mother taught us all. From time to time, she would pause and remind us of the need for us to make kindness our second nature.

And as a hardworking woman, the word impossibility never existed in her dictionary because she faced every task with the determination to succeed and excel.  We all witnessed those bold moves while growing up.

Born in Imoru Street, Ijan Ekiti, decades ago to the family of a professional Carpenter Late Pa Abraham Olofinmomi (Apeere Igbagbo) from Idanre, Ondo State. Pa Olofinmomi had come to sojourn at Ijan Ekiti, as a vibrant carpenter and proficient farmer to earn his living. He was the first person to roof his house with iron sheets as well as plant cocoa in Ijan Ekiti.  Her mother, late Chief Ekerun Apotun Ibiyimika was a Traditional Weaver (Ahunso) as well as a Trader. She was born in Ogbon Titun, Ijan Ekiti to the family of Late Chief Osodi Fasae.

Late Idowu Durodola Elizabeth was married to Late Chief Ajana, decades ago. The marriage was a fulfilled one, with promising children. She was a petty trader coupled with farming, her husband,s occupation.    Mama was kind-hearted, loving, caring, and supportive to her husband, family at large, and whoever came her way.     She was indeed a mother in a million, played active roles within the family and the Church of God, where she was saddled with various activities.  In Imoru Street, her sincerity, honesty of purpose, and character endeared her to the entire community.

What else to add? While here, you were strong. You were the blacksmith that forged my iron. You gave me wisdom. You gave me love. You gave me care. From you, I learned it is others first before self. From you, I learned kindness should be our second nature. You suffered to raise us. You laboured to mother and wean us. But God smiled on you. He gave you His grace and favour. The story is long, but the ending is sweet. Though there is much to say about you, stories about you are inexhaustible. Truth is that you lived well. You knew God. You served God. You served Him. I am very certain that you are on a smooth and seamless cruise to meet your maker in the celestial abode. Now that you are there, you must surely be resting in peace. Though we are pained about the painful reality of your exit, we are nonetheless grateful and consoled that you escorted us more than halfway through the journey of life.

When last I came home briefly to see you, little did I know you were set to get on your sail? All I realized was that you were a bit calm, unusually quiet, and aloof to me in my haste and hustle. It was supposed to be a business trip to Ekiti, but I stopped by, as usual, to say hello. That hello I did but never said a good-bye.

You never allowed me the luxury to say a goodbye, as you were already waiting in the wings of Angels to sail and soar away. And now it is goodbye forever! I was too naïve to observe what the foreboding could portend. Rather, I took it in stoically that Mum was okay and fit as a fiddle. Yes, you were quite fit in my estimation, but I wasn’t okay not to have read the handwriting on the wall.

No demand for my phone to talk to your kids-grandchildren. If it were other times, you would have collected the phone, get me to call my wife, and sing and chant. How come I did not ask you why you did not request to pray for your wife, children, and all? Where are the Orikis, the cognomens, and all the panegyrics? Where are those smoothing tales and folklores that remind us of our great ancestral past and exploits?

The Author, the Poet, and the Great Actress is off the stage… Goodbye and Good nite Mum

John Ajayi is Publisher, Marketing Edge Publication LTD, and a Public Commentator.