Van Gaal: Playing 4-4-2 makes my ass twitch

Sir Alex Ferguson famously coined the phrase ‘squeaky bum time’ when gearing up for the business end of the league – the time the title is won and lost.

But Louis van Gaal has come up with a new football lexicon ‘twitchy ass time’.

The Dutchman gave his take on the phrase during a press conference ahead of Manchester United’s FA Cup fourth round tie at Cambridge, claiming his team’s uncertain performances have left him ‘twitching his ass’ on the bench.

Traditionally, the Red Devils play 4-4-2 formation which has brought success to the club but Van Gaal remains unconvinced with the formation saying it exposes the team to harm.

“I know that, with 4-4-2, the stats are giving positive results, we have won more with 4-4-2 in a diamond, but, when you analyse the games, then we have twitched our ass on the bench,” he said.

“I said to my players I was squeezing my ass but I knew that was the wrong expression. I meant I have twitched my ass on the bench because we were out of balance. We won against West Ham playing 4-4-2 for instance but all the time it was twitching your ass and I don’t like it.

“After I switched the system we won nine in a row then we lose one game and the discussion about the system starts up again. It’s ridiculous.”

Van Gaal is convinced that results will improve once his side get used to the 3-5-2 formation, while he also explained his decision to pick Angel Di Maria up front against Queens Park Rangers at Loftus Road.

“I do not feel the players are completely comfortable with the new system yet,” he said.

“I would like them to be more comfortable but we are working on this in the middle of the season so we are doing a lot of things during the matches.

“It was something I wanted to try because we needed pace up front to stretch the game. When we play 4-4-2 Di Maria can play left midfield; in the 3-5-2 we haven’t seen him so much because he has been injured,” he said on the Argentine.

“Then he came back and I tried him as a striker because, when you have pace in that position, you stretch the pitch and make a bigger space for your midfielders. I tried it in a game because I didn’t have the chance to do it in the preparation at the beginning of the season.”

Regardless of how United line-up, they are overwhelming favourites to beat League Two Cambridge and make it through to the fifth round of the FA Cup on Friday.