He wants me to abort our pregnancy

Hello Praise,

Thanks so much for your wisdom in handling relationship matters. May God continue to increase your wisdom. I have a big problem on my hands right now that I am a bit confused about. I am still single but have a good job and have been dating a colleague for some time. I recently took a pregnancy test that showed I am 3 months gone and was a bit shocked but on telling my guy he told me he wasn’t ready to become a father yet and advised me to either abort the baby or forget about marriage. I am confused because I don’t want to lose him but also the guilt of aborting my first child is killing me. As a matter of fact my church will suspend me as a worker for getting pregnant and my mother would have none of that. She said it is over her dead body that I abort the pregnancy. Please what is your counsel? I am not sure I can stand the ridicule of my church and don’t also want to lose this guy.

Bisola, Abuja

Hi Bisola,

Thanks for your mail to me. I will go straight to the point since the deed has been done because going by your mail you shouldn’t have even gotten into pre-marital sex because you know what the Bible says about that (since you are a Christian). However since the sinful act has been committed why would you want to add another sin to it by seeking to terminate the life of an unborn child?

Truth be told I don’t envy your position. However I would not also vouch for a man that is not responsible enough to stand by the seed he planted. What does he need to be in place to be ready for fatherhood? A man that can have sex without expecting the consequence of sex is not man enough in my opinion and it also shows he doesn’t respect and truly love you. What happens when you abort and he still dumps you? I have an idea of what your church may also do to you but I would rather you damn the consequence and run to God than seek to please your church. A church that preaches against abortion must not engage in acts that makes people prefer abortion to public ridicule.

One thing that is working for you is that your mum is on your side so brace yourself up for life as a mother and make up your mind to stand by this seed instead of snuffing life out of the baby. Fatherhood and sperm donation are not the same thing so don’t fall for a man that wants to hand you a ring on a condition that you murder your child. The road is not going to be that easy but trust me you would pull through successfully. I was a child that could have been aborted as well but for my mum’s decision and see how I have turned out. Hang out with God and run towards him and you can be sure you won’t regret it. Who knows the guy may come back to his senses and if he doesn’t there must be a sane guy somewhere in your future that would accept you and the baby and provide quality father figure for your child.

God bless you.

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Sex or I quit!

Dear Uncle Praise,

I stumbled on your column online and thought to ask this question sir. I am ashamed to say I am still a virgin at 20 (I am in 300 level) and my boyfriend is threatening to dump me if I don’t allow him sleep with me. He has given me a month ultimatum and I am confused about it. Please what should I tell him because I don’t want to lose him.

Chidinma, PH

Hello Chidinma,

There is nothing to be ashamed of as a virgin because it is possible you are one of the few ladies who are still doing it right. Virginity is not stupidity it only means a brand new lady that hasn’t been subjected to abnormal use so you need to celebrate yourself for that.

No guy is doing you a favour by asking you out and issuing an ultimatum is way off the line for that so called guy. Trust me you won’t die if he leaves and if I were you I would sack him this minute because it shows he doesn’t have the ability to spot gold when he sees one. Gold is not found on the surface and that is who you are. I guess he prefers dross like babes.

Here are a few questions that should make your decision easy;

If you have sex who gets pregnant?

If someone gets pregnant and he wants abortion who goes through abortion?

If someone dies during abortion who dies?

If there is no death but there are complications who is liable to losing a womb?

Who may drop out of school as a result of pregnancy?

Who will fry roasted corn to raise a child as a single parent?

Who will the society stigmatize as having a child out of wedlock?

Who is the fool among the two?

Who should be wise among the two?

Please my dear wise up and close up and work on yourself to become an indispensable woman and someday a proper guy with values would find and appreciate you instead of falling for this hit and run fellow.